Back in the medieval ages when a woman was married to a man, they were basically considered property for my understanding and treated like an extension of the man’s person and family. So it was customary for women to take the man’s last name since they were being joined to his family. But now here in the 21st century women are fully independent and last names don’t really seem to mean much of anything. I mean what is Smith or McGregor or any last name really mean anymore? Especially in the digital age, lots of people have digital usernames like SarahSmith1727373. So the last name clearly doesn’t mean much anymore… Which leads me to wonder, why do the majority of women still take the man’s last name? Especially when some of them have a horrible last name? I have seen some butt ass ugly last names recently, like Fink, Weimer, Slotsky/Slotsky, Hiscock (no joke this is a last name), Hardman… And then you hear the woman’s name and it’s like something way more reasonable and less stupid sounding like Kingman, or Harrison, Walls, etc.
She takes my hoodies, my snacks, my cash, the blankets… why wouldn’t she take my name?
(She didn’t take my name.)
Can’t speak for all women, but I (and I imagine some others) changed my name because I knew I’d be having kids and didn’t want there to be any confusion. Like, if I’m traveling internationally or if my kid ends up in the hospital, I don’t want one of us having to fish out a birth certificate to prove we’re both the parents. Also I’m of the percent that absolutely hated my long last name so the chance for my name to be shorter and nicer was a no brainer.
I think this is a big reason. Having a common family name helps solidify the family as a unit.
After we were married wife kept her last name, partially for professional reasons partially because she didn’t like my last name :-) When we had kids we decided that the kids would have my last name to avoid hyphen hell and her last name is super generic so any time she has to search for an account at the bank or anything like that she almost always has someone else with the same first and last name it can be a pain to find the correct “her”
Because it is easier to have 1 family name if you intend to have children.
My wife took my name because she liked it better than hers. Although if we had known that where we live, you can change your name to whatever you want when you get a marriage license, then we would have picked something cooler.
We couldn’t decide on something on the spot though.
Makes things easier for both parties when medical issues arise, even more so for parents. And I genuinely believe that a lot of women don’t know it’s an option.
I actually didn’t change my name when my mom married my dad, so you can really just say “no.” i was in middle school when I decided that, but whenever my dad tried to do anything, he had to jump through hoops. 🤷🏿♀️
My SO and have talked about possibly changing both of our last names when married. Neither of us are tied to or really care about our current names for any reason so why not just start fresh.
Tradition, mostly. When I discussed this with my fiancee she just wants to - I certainly don’t care. My one cousin went with both hyphenated, in alphabetical order so hers was first.
It helps with legal documents and proof of ownership of equity if both last names are the same. Taking the man’s last name is just an archaic tradition but I do agree that having both last names the same is useful.
I will say though that people who hyphenate both their last name’s are fucking psychopaths. Just choose one. Don’t make other people have to remember 2 last names.
Don’t make other people have to remember 2 last names. The tradition in most Spanish speaking countries is having two last names. Women don’t take their spouse’s surname. Instead, the child gets the first surname of both parents.
I can’t say for sure why. When I got married she just wanted to take one of my names (I have two last names). I’m not famous or anything, so it doesn’t carry any clout. Maybe she wanted a fancy sounding hyphenated name too, because she added one of mine to her current one.
I didn’t change my name. My perspective is that my identity doesn’t change just because I got married. My name has been mine since birth and it’ll remain that way.
Many people are fine with changing their names and the ones that aren’t won’t do it. There’s your answer. Don’t rag on the people that like changing their name.
I took my husband’s last name because it was important to him, and I wasn’t super attached to mine. Also, it has 2 Z’s in it, and that’s one of the coolest letters.
Is your last name is Lizzard? /s
Eggyzz.
Izzard
My wife did, despite me saying I’d rather she not. Me changing to her name was not legally possible in our situation (me US citizen, her JP citizen, both living in and married in Japan). (Edit: What I wanted to do was change to her name, but that doesn’t happen unless I give up US and my other citizenship, apply for and get JP citizenship, and choose her maiden name as my name or do that but a name combining hers and the sound from the start of mine rendered in kanji).
Her reasoning was that we could quickly and easily remove basically all doubt that we are related with just what ID we both always carry. Her usecase was one of us being critically injured or something and being able to gain access in the hospital or something else like that.
I’m from a different culture than my husband and my last name was a bureaucratic nightmare. Almost didn’t make it into university because of computer mix ups, have had issues filing taxes, voting, getting a passport, settings basic IDs, getting insurance… It’s endless. Changed my name as soon as I could, and even THAT process was hindered by my original name.
Bonuses: Distance myself from social media I had as a child. Harder for former stalkers to locate me if they decide to rekindle their previous obsessions. Don’t need to upset one set of grandparents when you name your children one parent’s last name and not the other. People stop asking me where I’m from and making racist assumptions about me. Everyone seems a lot friendlier now that they assume I’m [insert European white race here] instead of [insert non-white race here] and that’s despite the fact that I’m clearly white. Racism is wild. My signature is way shorter.
Not saying this should be the norm, but I was happy it was a socially acceptable option for me.
Duper curious what it was now
Yeah, not the name itself but why it was a bureaucratic nightmare.
Please don’t DOX yourself.
