There was a cluster of fish and the water was so clear that you could see them from the surface, which I thought was cool. Some of them were even jumping out of the water, which I’d never seen in person before! Because of that, I worked my way to around the middle of the cluster and crouched, then just kind of settled down to watch. Eventually, I guess I had been still long enough that they forgot I was there and started jumping around me. When I was done surveiling them, I stood up and turned around, only to receive a fish directly to the face.

It was so unexpected (to me and, I presume, to the fish) that my first thought was that someone had thrown a rock at me, but my newly minted wife clarified that it was, in fact, a fish.

not OP but I’ve been slapped in the noggin clean by a nice big salmon while fishing. was quite the nice greeting. I’ve also been jizzed on as well.