Hi European here.
I always heard America is pretty competitive and that the people are very direct/speak their mind.
I’m quite the sensitive person, so I was wondering if it could be hard for me if I would ever go to America and if I needed to become more “tough”.
And would someone like me even be welcomed or would I be rejected?
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The country will kill you quicker than the people. If you do come, remember this place is MASSIVE, the biggest mistake tourists make is going exploring natural spaces. If you aren’t prepared, didn’t bring a compass, and can’t navigate by tree moss and the sun, then it is extremely easy to wander off, and never be found. If the road you are on suddenly switches from asphalt to gravel or dirt, you want to stop your car immediately, consult your navigation, and a damn atlas just in case, and turn back towards the nearest shreds of civilization. Exposure to the elements in this country can be, and frequently is, lethal. The less said about the wildlife the better, but if you’re in a car you’re mostly safe.
Ah the first time you drive past a herd of elk.
Absolutely pants shitting fear. Like primal dread.
I worked in Yellowstone for a season.
The elk had their babies during that time.
Trying to get from one of the employee dorms to the employee bar, and we got pushed off course by a mama elk.
We wound up on the employee cafeteria loading dock, as elk can’t (or won’t?) climb stairs.
We had to get rescued by park rangers.
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Don’t go. It’s a failed state. And it will get worse in the future.
It is so variable.
It is generally true that folks on this side of the pond are more direct and blunt than folks that I’ve met from Europe, or even from our lovely neighbors to the north. But I wouldn’t say it’s aggressively so. It’s also the case that it’s a matter of degrees.
I’m from the southern US, and we tend to be way less blunt, and more wordy than many other areas. Like, the New Yorkers I’ve known will just up and say something, in one sentence, and it’s up to you to like it or lump it. A southerner is likely to edge around a subject a little more, and feel you out before deciding how to say something, and then say it with relatively careful wording.
I’m not even talking about harsh things, I’m talking about something like asking if you like hamburgers.
It isn’t perfect, but we tend to be nice to visitors. Not everyone, and not as much as we should, but the places I’ve lived, or visited long enough over time to get to know people, you’re more likely to run into people being curious and helpful as a tourist, or even immigrant, than they would be to someone from the next town over.
So, I don’t think you’d have to “toughen up” to visit or live here.
The caveat to all of that is that there are assholes here. There are everywhere, but we’re a big country, so even a 1% asshole group is a lot of people.
'Murican here. We’re home to every personality under the sun - if you feel like the person you’re dealing with is an asshole, they probably are. Disengage and move on - you’ll find pleasant people.
Given the political disaster we’re about to dive into, you might want to wait a bit to gauge how we treat our guests over the next few months - we’ve definitely set the stage to go full Nazi, whether or not we actually do remains to be seen.
Fucked up politics aside, welcome aboard if you ever decide to visit!
Okay. I hope you guys have my favorite candies overseas which are Reese’s peanut butter cups, Little Debbie and Pop Tarts.
We’ve got multiple sizes and flavors of all of the above. If sugar and junk food are what you’re after, this is definitely the place. Reese’s just came out with a larger than normal cup with a glob of gooey caramel under the peanut butter… if you’re not opposed to flirting with diabetes, it’s pretty great :D
Hell, most of our ‘normal’ food probably qualifies as candy to the rest of the world - we can definitely hook you up!
The good thing is I somehow just can’t gain weight but I also don’t eat too much junk food and somewhat keep the balance.
It often frustrates me that we only have McDonald’s, Burger King, Subway and KFC here. I always wanted to try stuff like Taco Bell, Wendys, Jack in the Box and In n out Burger.
I prolly spent my whole childhood at McDonald’s (we ate there at least 4 times a week) and I always wished we had other chains. But that was the closest I could get to an American environment as a kid.
Check out The South – the coastal area along the Gulf of Mexico. Everyone is obese. Food is great and cheap. Wonderful cross pollination of Mexican, French, Cajun, Vietnamese, English, German, Czech food going on down there. Best of all worlds!
Taco Bell
Tasty; notorious for destroying yous stomach, and later, your toilet. Fair warning. Keep in mind we share a border with Mexico, so we’ve got pretty decent options for Mexican food. If you’re in an area with food trucks, those are consistently the best for some reason.
Wendys
If I blindfolded you and fed you a Wendy’s burger and told you it was McDonalds, you wouldn’t question it. Until the cashier tells you how much your meal costs… I recall them being just expensive McDonalds.
Jack in the Box
Been ages since I’ve been there… can’t remember if it was them or Hardees/Carl’s Jr, but I recall their criscut fries being better than the average fast food.
In n out Burger
I know these are fighting words, but: they’re trash. In n’ Out, Hard Rock Cafe, and Five Guys are like the trinity of overrated fast food: poorly executed attempt at feeling like a fancy diner, but the food - the meat in particular - is absolutely flavorless. I’d point you instead to the regional chains like Culver’s or Braum’s.
…and I’d guess this is true of most largish cities around the world vs being uniquely American, but they tend to have districts that lean heavily toward or are outright dedicated to a specific culture or group, and the restaurants in those area are consistently among the best. Like if you want Vietnamese food, don’t just hit a pho chain in a random strip mall - find the Asian district, and look for the oldest, most beat-up looking hole-in-the-wall restaurant you can find there, and you’ll get the best pho you’ve ever had.
Pop tarts are part of a balanced breakfast. 😉
I suppose if you were to hold one in each hand…? 🤡
That’s no way to think like an American! We demand shelf stable “food” whose flavor can best be described by its color (such as red). 😉
No way. Pop tarts are defined by whether they are “warm” or “cold”.
That’s very classy of you to warm them.
Not always, hence balanced:-)
Sensitivity is more than fine! You’d fit right in. However, you very much need to be able to firmly advocate for yourself, and be confident in what is necessary for your health needs.
I feel like it also depends on where you go. It’s a big country and the culture can be drastically different in different areas, even within the same state.
True. I just don’t get why so many Americans can be so confident. I hope I can keep up with that. Cause my parents ruined my confidence with all the trauma they introduced to me. But maybe it would help just going out of the country of my parents
Literally just lean into your accent and it’ll carry you 100% of the way through conversation 😜 Don’t even worry about feeling like you’re hamming it up. We can’t tell the difference!
What do you mean by accent? I can only do an American accent (maybe a little British if I try hard)
No I mean your native accent. I see you’re from germany, and while you might not think you have one, I’d dare to assure you that you do! Even baseline “American” is technically transatlantic IIRC
I think I watched too much American TV it’s kinda hard for me to do the German accent now and it feels weird to do tbh
Unless it’s absolutely perfect, a native speaker will pick up your accent…how’s your “th” that’s usually a dead give away for native German speakers.
No. The US is a huge and diverse country with many different regions and subcultures. While there is an element of performative male toughness that is common in many social circles, it’s easy enough to avoid if you associate with people who aren’t that way. Generally this will be much easier in large cities but may take a little time to find the people who are on your wavelength.
Depends on where, the midwest can be very indirect. To the point where it’s often mocked. We’re also very nice, and the thick accent Minnesota is known for is often played up and exagerated for comedic effect. You gotta go pretty far north in order to hear the accents you hear in Fargo.
What I do often hear is that Americans can be very curious, especially about foreigners. I think it’s simply because America is massive… it’s genuinely difficult to leave it. Most people don’t have passports, most don’t have the time or funds for a flight out of the country. You will be incredibly unique in a lot of America. Curiosity might get the better of a lot of people and that’ll translate to being more direct.
Depending on the person you’re talking to that can be good or bad.
People in the US probably won’t say what they mean directly the same way you would in Europe. The biggest thing I’ve noticed in the EU is that, to an American, most people are horrifically blunt to the point of being rude. So if you’re used to that you should be fine.
Unless you are very fluent in English a lot of American rudeness tends to be very underhanded, so you might not really realize it anyways? It’s either that or batshit crazy.
I suppose this depends on where you’re coming from. My Eastern European relatives thought that Americans were oddly friendly. I remember my mother saying “Why did the cashier smile at me? She doesn’t know me!”
A French coworker of mine back in Australia was talking about how much cashiers smile, and I was like “oh yeah, people are real friendly, great right?” To which she replied “I just want to tell them stop it, you’re not my friend!”
I’m from Germany specifically.
As an American who has lived in Germany and visited on a dozen occasions I can confidently say you’ll be fine.
You’ll think Americans are too nice. As soon as they hear your accent they will get pumped and ask you all sorts of questions about where you are from.
Lol I’m like the exact opposite, if someone isn’t smiling at me I’m thinking “Did I do something wrong?” but of course I know that not everyone is smiling at you unfortunately
competitive and that the people are very direct/speak their mind.
I associate this attitude more with East Coast folks. Us in the Pacific Northwest are known for smiles, soft pedalling and strictly passive aggression only.
I’m soft like overproved dough. Deeply allergic to anything competitive and near pathologically conflict averse. I’ve felt very welcome since I moved here from Australia ~10 years ago.
PNW, SoCal, NorCal, Midwest, New England and the South are some of main culturally distinct areas. I think you’re better off finding where you might like to move to and investigating a particular city, state or area. Subreddits and Nextdoor are (alas) probably better for detailed local info, but cast around widely as some forums can be surprisingly polarized - r/oregon was partly a refuge for trolls who’d been banned from r/portland, for example.
No Americans assimilate better than any other country. That’s kinda their thing. They’re overly friendly if anything.
Avoid the UK though we love tearing everyone including ourselves down.
Really?
Yes it’s a melting pot with a shared dream of prosperity. Grew up in the states, uk born and back here now. Might call you an idiot but it’s fairly surface level. Brits are anti-competitive and go for the heart.
Damn. Not the heart😭
My parents came here from the Soviet Union in the early 70s, speaking not a word of English and with $50 in their pockets. They did fine. Our story is pretty common.
it’s fine, you’d be just fine. Honest.
I’ve lived in a few places. College towns tend to be the most lively, interesting, welcoming, and sensitive to people of different cultures. Unfortunately, being near a university can mean that rent is higher.
Depends where you go. Some places are nice and polite but not kind “oh I’m so sorry to hear about your flat tire that just be a struggle I hope you find a way through this” and where I live we aren’t as polite nor nice but we are kind “ey your your is flat that fucking sucks let me fucking fix this fucking things for you damn piece of shit”
