“I still believe that, five years from now, civilisation will be structured entirely around OpenBean beans,” said bean industry titan Sam Altbean. “I can’t offer any supporting evidence for that, but I do believe it.”

America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless.

😂 First line got me. Bookmarking the Beaverton

American magic bean companies like Beanco, The Boston Bean Company, and Nvidia have already shed hundreds of billions of dollars in stock value as investors contemplate getting their magic beans from overseas.

🤣📉

American magic bean companies like Beanco, The Boston Bean Company, and Nvidia have already shed hundreds of billions of dollars in stock value

lmao

Finally some good onion

I think the Canadian thing I am proud of most is the Beaverton. They give me actual civic pride and just the briefest glimpse of patriotism.

I love The Beaverton, their distinctive satire has always tickled my funny bone! They are the same level as The Onion.

Homer: Curse you magic beans!

Is this why they have so many bean counters?