• @[email protected]
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    610 hours ago

    if I can use kale for plant-based philly cheese steak…

    That’s what we call “beggaring the question”.

  • nocturne
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    2417 hours ago

    This is exactly the kind of thing my mother would do, and the kind of shit I grew up having to eat.

    • @[email protected]
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      2816 hours ago

      One year my mom asked me what kind of cake I wanted for my birthday. Chocolate, naturally. My mom heard that but then saw a recipe for a healthy tofu-based cinnamon pie and apparently thought “fuck that kid’s birthday” and made cinnamon tofu pie that none of my friends would eat.

      I feel your pain.

      • nocturne
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        14 hours ago

        I still have friends from childhood that ensure they remind me of all of the carob cakes they had to eat to come to my birthday parties.

        My mom also found out you can replace oil or eggs or sweetener with applesauce in baked goods. Eventually my cakes were flour and applesauce.

        • @[email protected]
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          813 hours ago

          Mmm, gotta love that flat, kinda a little sweet mushy cracker cake. Tastes like disappointment.

          My mom made a sport of ruining my birthdays. Sometimes it was something like interrupting the party to tell me my teacher had called and I was in trouble, but usually it was my mom’s ego making her think that kids were down with whatever whole wheat bullshit she had found at the natural food store. The rye flour crust pizza she forced on me and my dwindling pool of friends who would come to my house the year after the cinnamon pie was the final nail in my birthday party coffin. Decades later I still hate my birthday.

    • Flying Squid
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      516 hours ago

      Did your mom have the Moosewood Cookbook? This is like every fucking recipe in that book. I hate it so much.

    • @bollybing
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      213 hours ago

      We’re all born with a plant based spoon. We just have to relearn how to use it to eat since we got so used to metal spoons. I’m talking of course about our tongues.

  • @[email protected]
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    313 hours ago

    Sometimes, when you have an idea you shouldn’t share it or do it. You should pour bleach on it and accept the pain as payment for even thinking it.