Lady Araminta Berrypick, a wealthy and impeccably dressed Ankh-Morpork aristocrat with a sharp tongue and a nose perpetually turned up at the world, was seated in The Velvet Wand’s VIP lounge. She told Mimble she detests her husband’s obsession with horseback tours through the countryside, describing them as “an abominable waste of time pretending to appreciate dirt.” and needed something to beat the boredom during those rides.

The Lady absently twirled the silver handle of her riding crop, her expression a mix of boredom and faint curiosity. Madam Mimble, ever the consummate hostess, was in full sales mode.

“This,” Mimble announced with a theatrical flourish, “is the Velvet Equine Saddle Deluxe™—a revolutionary blend of comfort, class, and… extracurricular stimulation.”

Tessa, already blushing furiously, stood beside the gleaming saddle mounted on a meticulously carved wooden horse. The enchanted leather seemed to shimmer with a faint magical glow.

“Oh, it looks very ordinary,” the lady said, her tone dripping with skepticism.

Mimble’s smirk deepened. “That’s precisely the genius of it. Discretion is everything in polite society. But don’t let the unassuming appearance fool you. This saddle is packed with features to ensure even the most tedious of countryside tours can become… unforgettable.”

She gestured to Tessa. “If you would, my dear.”

Tessa, with a resigned sigh, climbed onto the saddle, her fitted riding pants—seemingly ordinary—adjusting themselves magically to fit her form. These, of course, were the patented Easy-Access Riding Breeches™, designed to “accommodate any unforeseen delights along the way.”

As Tessa settled onto the seat, the saddle hummed softly to life. The Patriarch Lady leaned forward slightly, her curiosity piqued.

“Now,” Mimble said, with a gleam in her eye, “we start with the basics.”

The saddle began a gentle rocking motion, perfectly synchronized to mimic the rhythm of an actual horse’s gait. Tessa’s blush deepened as subtle vibrations coursed through her.

“Oh!” she gasped, gripping the saddle’s edge.

The Patriarch Lady arched an eyebrow. “I assume there’s more to it than that?”

“Indeed,” Mimble replied, snapping her fingers. “Level two.”

The saddle intensified its rhythm, and Tessa’s breath hitched. The magical enchantments of the leather began targeting specific areas, leaving her squirming. The nipple-clamps, perched nearby on a shelf, watched with bemusement.

“Oh, she’s a natural! 8.5 for technique, but do watch your posture, dear.,” one exclaimed.

“Generous,” the other muttered. “Did you see her wobble at the start?”

Tessa shot them a glare, which immediately dissolved into a startled moan as the saddle shifted again.

The Patriarch Lady was now fully engrossed, her riding crop forgotten. “Fascinating. But what about those particularly long rides?”

Mimble grinned wickedly. “Ah, for that, we unveil the special feature.”

Before Tessa could process what that meant, the saddle pulsed, activating the pants’ unique feature. The seams of the breeches parted seamlessly, creating an inviting opening. From the saddle, an enchanted extension—shaped with exquisite detail and radiating warmth—emerged and positioned itself with unerring accuracy.

“What the—?!” Tessa yelped, her voice climbing an octave as the contraption slipped into place with a precision that could only be described as magical.

The Patriarch Lady gasped audibly, one hand clutching her pearls. “My word!” she whispered, her cheeks flushed.

Tessa’s cries alternated between shock and involuntary pleasure as the saddle continued its work. Her thighs trembled, and the clamps gave a rare nod of approval.

“Nine points,” one announced.

“Ten,” the other corrected. “She didn’t fall off.”

“Easy, considering the way she is anchored now” the other huffs.

The Patriarch Lady’s eyes were wide, her breathing shallow. “Madam Mimble,” she said breathlessly, “I’ll take it. And the breeches. In every color.”

Mimble handed her a form with a flourish. “Of course, Lady. And might I suggest the Deluxe Lube Package for added comfort?”

The lady nodded absently, unable to tear her eyes away from Tessa’s quivering form.

When the demonstration finally ended, Tessa slumped forward, panting and utterly spent. The enchanted saddle gently adjusted, allowing her to dismount with surprising grace.

As she staggered away, Mimble handed her a small vial labeled “Restorative Balm for Well-Worked Riders™.”

“For the soreness, dear,” Mimble said sweetly. Then, leaning in, she whispered, “Excellent performance, Tessa. The clamps gave you a ten, you know.”

Tessa shot her a withering look but couldn’t suppress a small, satisfied smile.

The Patriarch Lady clutched her new purchase with an eagerness that bordered on indecent. “My husband will never know what hit him,” she muttered, her voice tinged with glee.

Mimble chuckled as Tessa wandered off, muttering something about “needing a very long nap.”

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