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I hate that useless “nobody:” Glad it went out of style. If nobody said nothing, then everybody said something. The still useless but correct way would be “everybody:”
It’s a shorthand for “nobody asked for this but [person/group] do it anyway:”
I know, it’s just very poorly done. You can remove it every single time and it changes nothing about the joke.
Be that as it may, “everyone:” is not a good replacement.
It’s more accurate, but yes, they both suck.
Perfection
Was about to do that, saved me the crop thanks