I’m a 27 year old single mom with a 12 year old son (Yes I had him at 15). Ever since I left my abusive relationship with his father, he hasn’t had a male figure around, and I haven’t really had a full on discussion about him about puberty or hygiene/shaving down there. I think he’d probably be most comfortable discussing these things with me even as his mom compared to his grandfather or my brother/his uncle, just because of how much closer we are. I’ve done some research online about male puberty, hormones, and hygiene for uncircumcised boys, but how do I approach having this conversation with him without making him uncomfortable and what else should I talk to him about?
Edit: Thanks for the advice, he was surprisingly comfortable talking to me about some of these things. I took some of your advice and had a casual approach, made a few jokes as well.
Though one thing he confessed was that he isn’t able to pull his foreskin behind his head yet, is that normal and how should he keep himself clean if he can’t expose his head?
Thanks for your advice! I just had a small chat with him and he seemed surprisingly comfortable to have these conversations with me. Cracking small jokes seemed to be super helpful lol.
Good to hear it. It’s definitely important to communicate that you’re not afraid of the subject and will always speak frankly about it, and the best way to do that is with demeanor and delivery. My wife has some difficulty speaking with all of our kids, because she’s very “information focused” I think. Ends up with the kids feeling like they’re being interrogated, and they throw up walls (unintentionally, I’m sure). I try to make more of my conversations with them pretty low-stakes - bad jokes, sending memes, going off on my own rants that have nothing to do with them directly. Seems to work? Who knows, we’re all just muddling through everything without any idea what we’re doing most of the time.
Yeah I had something similar. When I was still with him, my ex used to be poor at connecting/communicating with our son in a father/son way. He definitely carried the load financially, but I was basically doing all the work when it came to nurturing and connecting with our kid.