Bad divorce, abusive partner. dust settled,
have a will with my daughter’s starting today. had a trip planned and all, was going to take them camping.
but instead she won’t let me have one of my daughters.
I’m tired of no one taking this seriously,
I also learned that she didn’t report tonthe courts that I paid her alimony, now the courts want me to pay again.
The thoughts are back, ending my life is the only way I see to improve my life.
i know this will be ignored
I see you, buddy. Hold on. Don’t do a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Life is a temporary problem, nothing ever gets better for me
Yes it does. But you’ll never see it if you end your life. You won’t see your daughter grow. You won’t see what will make you happy.
First off, the payment you made, was it etransfer or cheque or cash? If you have proof of giving it, get it ready and save it. Even if it is just text messages saying they got the money. Save it. Next payment you report to whoever you need to that you paid her.
Go to enforcement or courts and say ex isn’t letting you see your daughter. Ask the school to help if you have an agreement.
Do you have benefits from work? If so, then you most likely have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Use it. Seriously. Use it. Some would help with finding lawyers and paying for legal advice and mental health counseling. Don’t have those benefits? Keep talking here.
Get right back on your feet. You’ll get through this. This isn’t forever.
Don’t end your life. Your daughter needs a father. No one can replace you to her.
Yeah, I’ve been suicidal a few times. There’s a hole in my bedroom roof to prove it. Leaks sometimes, think I finally got it patched. A 12-gauge makes a hella hole at short range!
All I got is this, you never know what’s coming next. Boy could I tell you tales about that! Besides, suicide is always an option later. You’re going to be inert matter soon enough, what’s the rush?
You should relax and read Kurt Vonnegut’s Galápagos. It’s about how our big brains are so overpowered they’re ridiculous and worse than useless. In one scene a woman is about to kill herself “because her big brain told her to”. She didn’t and was eaten by a great white 30-years later. So it goes. It’s pretty funny, absurd and thought provoking. (Want an epub? Kurt would have been thrilled for me to share it with you.)
I know this isn’t the time for practical advice, but do you have any proof you paid her? The court will shit kittens if you can prove she’s lying. They have no sense of humor about such things. As far as her fucking with you about custody, got my kids back after many years of my wife keeping them from me. They’re here for the summer! The judge handed my ex her ass so hard I’ve been trying to get the transcript to laugh about with my new wife. Whew! Talk about a humorous judge!
your story is inspiring.
i have proofs from the bank, but the clerk just told me it’s my fault I didn’t say through the court.
Nah, fuck that clerk. Hate to be that guy, but demand a supervisor. I know you’re in no mood to push a fight, but… 💸. Bet a judge would accept your receipt.
Check this out: The Ten Minute Suicide Guide By my favorite editor back when Cracked.com was actually good shit. Much to ponder!
I’ve had one hell of a life. I often wonder is someone out to get me will collect all my comments on lemmy, or formerly reddit, and scream, “Bullshit! Nobody had all that crazy shit happen!”
I used to think that when I talked to older men like my dad. “Aww, horse shit, you didn’t do all that!” Met older guys a little later in life, yeah, they did that shit. Now I’m that older guy! Life is nuts.
And if you read the article, congrats murderer! Now I’m one of the people you hurt.
holy fuck.
that was an amazing read, everyone should read it
It would seem she’s still abusing you. Maybe record your transactions, including pickups on a GoPro. Another reasonable (but painful) solution is to explain to your daughters that you can no longer interact with their mother in any way. Lots of options before you throw in the towel.
she isn’t allowing my to talk to my daughter. so it’s just going at the speed of “whenever the courts decide to do their job”
DON’T IGNORE US MOTHER FUCKER!!
Courts are slow, but they are just.
Courts are frustrating. Hang in there, your daughter needs you and the courts will recognize that.
Your wife didn’t report payments to her own detriment, the courts won’t move swift on that but the records will show you did your part and she did not.
Courts are a war and not a battle. Don’t surrender due to one dishonorable win to the enemy side.
it just, that it feels so absolute. no matter what, I’m powerless, and now I’m in a very precarious situation and might end up in alligator Auschwitz.
Have you ever heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”? Your thoughts become your reality. If you say you are powerless then you are.
I’m an undocumented immigrant (against my will) in Trump’s America. A concentration camp is a very likely outcome for me.
If that is the case at least it could radicalize your daughters to fight for human rights. Even that would be a better outcome for your family than suicide.
You are going through a tough time like I will never know. Just know that at this time you are free. You are not bound unless you bind yourself. And that means you can choose what to do next, and your choices may improve your situation. You are in a mind prison but I cannot break you out. I’m just showing you that the door is open for when you choose to walk out.
The most powerful words in the world are the things we tell ourselves and believe.
I went to some workshop my mom really wanted me to attend after my marriage fell apart. It was years ago, and I don’t remember much because it really wasn’t my thing, but I clearly remember that phrase.
I took that to mean that it starts with how you treat yourself.
As someone who hit rock bottom, it gets better. My marriage ended with me in handcuffs, accused of something I didn’t do, with one of my daughters in an ambulance going to a psych hospital and the other daughter with my mom.
The charges got dropped the next day (long story) but I still spent a night in jail, and all I could think about is how long 20 years would be. How old my kids would be. I was 31 at the time.
I’m 35 now, moving in with a woman I couldn’t imagine not sharing the rest of my life with. My kids are with me for the school year, and they go stay with my ex for the summer. Literally everyone (even my ex) is better off, even if it doesn’t make me happy to admit it.
It gets better. And I think it starts by being nicer to yourself.
Therapy can really help, too.
What if it does get better and your not there for it? Will they understand? Is that worth it?
one more year, just one more, things will get better, just one more year, forget the constant pain. just one more year…
Don’t be silly, you can kill yourself anytime. Why stress about waiting a whole year?! Just lay off for a single day. I couldn’t do a year in your shoes, bet I could do a day!
tried a few times. not looking to get the “waking up the next day” disappointment.
probably the greatest disappointment anyone can experience