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Just wait until they enact the draft.
u/ModCodeOfConduct: “Congratulations, soldier! You’ve been promoted to moderator of r/suicidewatch!”
Recipient: “…But I’m just a 13 year old with depression and anxiety myself! And my account is only 8 days old!”
u/ModCodeOfConduct: “Report for duty right now, slacker! The mod queue is filled up, and you have a job to do!”