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If you settle for less than you deserve, you end up with less than you settled for.
😐
It’s probably not hopeless. After 20 years together, we kinda started out where you are and are having more and better sex than before. She probably has hang-ups. Try adding more dirty talk and get the communication going in the heat of the moment rather than before or after. Start as tame as you have to and see where it goes after a while.