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I used to live next to a neighbor who tried to kill me twice. I was poor, in a poor neighborhood, with shitty utilities and actively-hostile police. My home has been broken into, there was violence outside of my house, and my neighbor got arrested for meth.
I just don’t live in fear, because I’m not a coward.
Acknowledging you live in a dangerous situation and taking steps to improve your chances if something should happen isn’t living in fear. Nor is it cowardly.
Buying a gun as a civilian, for the purposes of defense, is inherently an act of fear. That’s inarguable.
If you think you’ll have a reasonable chance of needing it that isn’t fear. It’s just being prepared. If you are in a situation where a gun is warranted there really aren’t better alternatives.