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I use FreshRSS on desktop (web client from my self-hosted instance), and Readrops on Android (synced to my FreshRSS). For Lemmy notifications specifically you’ll likely want a dedicated client that is noisy. I was using Brief for this task temporarily, with only one RSS feed loaded and having it set to delete all but the latest message.
thanks for the tip if i ever get a machine i can dedicate to hosting an rss reader i may do that.