Recipe for raw apples:

When I was a little child, my mother and I used to go to the beach to laugh at the seagulls. We’d pick up random shells and yell “hey stupid, here’s food! Harharhar!” One day I was riding a donkey and fell on my ass, not sure if it was the donkey or my actual ass I don’t remember. There were so many memories of apples and asses in my past that I love to walk down the isles of my local supermarket and dream of the revolution where apples and pineapples will rise together, put their differences apart, and eat the rich.

Recipe: 1 raw apple. Eat.