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To anyone going through this, it gets better. The first year is really tough, and maybe longer, but eventually you’ll learn how to feel relaxed without it if you can stay off it long enough.
You have to fill the gap with something else enjoyable/stimulating.
Also, often people find they enjoy some of the activities they would be doing all along without the drugs,
ie. Hanging out with friends, lying have passed out on a couch watching TV / playing video games / staring at the ceiling listening to music, sex, bumming cigarettes, hustling for money, going to dangerous places / doing dangerous things, committing small time crimes, alienating family, ect…
You can enjoy all these things while sober… no need to be boring ;-)