You’re right, going for asphixation is more dangerous than many folks assume, especially since it has become quite normalized through porn. Most porn scenes and I assume most more vanilla folks at home don’t restrict blood flow, they just put their hands on the neck without much pressure for the feeling of domination.

If you still want to engage in actual breath play… There are good resources on the risks and different techniques of choking and breath play out there, don’t put actual pressure on a persons neck without informing yourself and talking about the risks. One variation is to instruct a person to hold their own breath once you touch their neck, so you still are only simulating a choke without actually putting pressure on the neck.