*Football team that’s been a dominant presence in the league for the last several seasons wins AFC Championship again and will be returning to the Super Bowl*
Conservatives: TAYLOR SWIFT DID THIS TO GET JOE BIDEN REELECTED!!!1!!
Plus Taylor Swift who has been immensely popular for like…What, over a decade now? Only now suddenly wielding her influence to run the government or something? Please, she’s rich, popular, and in business, she basically operates as her own independent nation without needing to run anyone else’s. 😂
She turns 35 just before the next president takes office, meaning this is the first election she could legally become president. Coincidence???
Absolutely a coincidence. This is all a marketing stunt, but the conspiracies have been fun to read.
She will be 35 in December and could be elected president in 2024.
She’s also been doing get out the vote/voter registration campaigns since at least 2018. She has officially endorsed multiple Democrats in the past, including Biden in the general election in 2020. None of this is new or a secret. Conservatives think they have uncovered some grand plot though. Like Taylor Swift needs the NFL and she wouldn’t have any publicity or influence without it. If anything it’s probably the opposite, with NFL trying to use Taylor Swift to boost their own popularity more.
I heard NPR say that she’s brought in roughly $300 million to the NFL because so many more women are now watching
Seriously. There is a conspiracy here, and it’s to get the Chief’s to win. /s. Probably. Not really. Yes I’m bitter.
All joking aside I miss when we could have “low stake” conspiracy theories. Now we have genuine flat earthers and the like, it’s only a matter of time before someone weaponizes the “birds aren’t real” meme. I swear god people will look back at pizzagate as the definitive marker where the world forgot 4chan was primarily a joke.
I’m bitter about the chiefs too. Also I feel like “the fix is in” and “script” jokes about the NFL have been ruined by people actually believing in something like that. If you joke about it now Poe’s law will kick in, people won’t know you’re joking anymore. And the NFL is certainly not helping the optics by getting all buddy buddy with sports gambling.
I’m OK with the NFL having its popularity chipped away. It’s a destructive sport that’s held a privileged position in the US for too long.
It’d be nice if it was for better reasons, though.
I’m especially annoyed when these billionaire team owners with highly profitable teams get taxpayers to pay for their stadiums.
Now that I think about it, how about we convince them it’s a leftist plot for them to destroy the NFL? We knew they would hate Swift’s involvement, so we fixed the game in her boyfriend’s favor in order for conservatives to turn against football.
Well she did dare to encourage her fans to vote! And that’s obviously anti-democratic or something.
She’s obviously a witch /s
She turned me into a newt.
… It got better.
Jokes on you, it’s Newt Gingrich
… it [sic] got worse.
they’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one
These people are unhinged.
🌍👨🚀🔫🧑🏻🚀always have been.
i feel like society as a whole would improve greatly if they just, you know, didn’t exist. it’s almost as if we stand on the verge of a complete global catastrophe and the only way to resolve it is to get rid of them all. entirely.
The situation should resolve itself soon, the Earth will survive climate change.
what about all the animals?
We’re in I believe the sixth great extinction event. This is won’t be in the top three.
Life will survive just fine, it will evolve and adapt as it always has.
i don’t care. i refuse to allow innocent animals be caused to suffer because of our greed and ignorance. stop being apathetic.
I mean, we can’t know how it compares to the others for sure until it’s over, surely? We could always find a way to make even more things extinct.
Previous extinction events were pretty bad… Like almost all life dying. It really don’t get much worse than a giant asteroid blowing up the entire planet.
They need to calm down.
Well done.
It bothers me so much to know how stupid I am and also know there are so many people even stupider than me.
Think for a moment how stupid the average person is…Then realise that half the population is dumber than that. - George Carlin
The problem is that most people overestimate the average person too.
So it’s more like “imagine the average person, and realize around 70% of the population is dumber than that.”
*median, but we’ll let it slide, George
It kind of plays into the joke anyway
What’s the difference when talking about people rather than a metric?
Not sure, but in this case it’s a metric about people.
I parse the sentence differently then. The subject is the “average person”, not the “average person’s intelligence”.
My favorite quote of all time.
Yeah. I’m dumb. I’m also in the top percentile of intelligence. No bueno.
I mean you can’t be that dumb. You speak French.
Tushy!
“Everything I don’t like is woke, or a psyop, or SJW, or liberal, or socialist, or…”
Communist is a classic
Or we could go Victorian and use Anarchist
Might ancient Greek Cynics be the original recipe?
WTF? She probably has more fans than the NFL and these morons think she’s getting signal boosted?
Obviously this is a psyop to boost awareness that the Chiefs exist.
Are…are they trying to start something with the Swifties? Because I’m pretty sure Y’all-Quaeda is no match for them, and I’m here for it!
if there’s any side likely to win a civil war in the US its the swifties. If she told her fans to get guns they would.
If she told all her fans to get open carry permits and assault rifles the GOP would all rally behind smart gun control laws and try to raise the minimum age to thwart her.
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Oh no. Please don’t target Taylor Swift. Oh gosh. Conservatives, this will just ruin everything for all other people. You can’t do this. Her like bazillion fans are definitely too young to vote. Ah. No. Stop.
Let’s say it’s all true. Who gives a fuck? Endorsements have been a thing forever.
Do they want to burn her at the stake for witch craft like it’s fucking 1724 because she’s controlling people’s minds and stealing their
erectionselections?Do they want to burn her at the stake for witch craft like it’s fucking 1724
That is a bit further down the path they’ve started down with criminalising abortion. They’ve got to decriminalise violence against women before they can actually start burning them. They’re getting there, though.
There’s gonna be three sides to the next civil war: secede, stay, and the swifties; and the swifties are going to have the largest army. I don’t know why they think picking this fight is in any way intelligent.
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I didn’t expect the revolution to be led by tween pop fans, but I remember middle school.
Vicious.
If you think her fans are just tweens you are in for a big surprise. She is extremely popular with most age groups. Hell, I don’t even listen to a lot of pop but I find myself singing along to her songs.
Yup. I’m a man in my thirties who has never been anything close to a “Swiftie” but when Midnights dominated the charts I decided to give it a listen and a good chunk of it resonated with me. Not the music itself, though it isn’t bad. Kind of generic modern pop. It’s her lyrics that sell it. I felt a bit like that Danny Devito “I get it” gif from the end of IASIP season 13.
Edit: (That said, I pride myself on being able to find things to appreciate about media I wouldn’t otherwise consume, and so I’m prone to liking things. Your mileage may vary.)
Taylor Swift has been putting out hits for 15 years. It’s definitely more than just tweens at this point.
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Why is it her fault? Was she their quarterback?
See it all started when JFK came back from the dead…
ROFL! Holy shit I laughed out loud at this! Thank you. I needed that.
She’s dating a Chiefs player. If you’re an idiot, this means the game must be rigged in their favor.
Political brain rot being inserted into everything now days, exhausting.
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I hope she continues to make all the things happen that pisses them off.
She is a woman. She is smart. She has a platform. She tells people to vote. She is the absolute worst in the eyes of fascists.
Very good point.
Among football fans we also like pointing out how Kelce, a superstar player, just about as high as you can get… essentially makes lemonade stand money next to her. It was the same for Brady and Gisel to. I imagine there’s a certain stripe of person that drives a little nuts.
Personally I love it. Those guys are absolute top of their field in something insanely demanding and stressful, and the money is essentially pointless. So the relationship must be pretty decent. It’s also just funny to picture THOSE guys going through the dance you have to if you’ve ever dated someone with a very different income/lifestyle. Like you can navigate it in a committed relationship, but the early stages can be a bit dicey. “ughh, I need a release, after the seasons over do you want to go to that place in the Mediterranean?” .
Maybe they should pray over the outcome and see whether Jesus magic is stronger than a DNC plot. It’s just a regular sporting event though, wouldn’t want them taking it as a confirmation of their powers if the other team wins.
Either way, I’m sure the choose-your-own-adventure political mystery novel they’re writing has win and loss branches mapped out. Chiefs win? Play victim since losing means the other side obviously cheated. Chiefs lose? It’s a sign that the pendulum is swinging in your favor. Both cases conveniently ignore the fact that it’s just a damn football game.
