Gender does end up feeling very linked to sexuality in complex ways. I’m cis, but my gender presentation definitely varies depending on whether I’m dating a woman or a man.

I had a partner who came out as trans while we were dating: when we got together, she identified as a straight man, but after transitioning, she identified as bi. She said that she couldn’t really feel attracted to men when she was imagining herself as a man, making out with another man, but as a woman, she felt more able to explore that part of her sexuality.

I think the landed gentry point sits poorly with me because many of the most committed mods (I mean the ones who actively put work into their communities, I’m not referring to the powermods collecting subs like General Grievous collecting lightsabres) put hours of work into curating and building a community. Reddit is built on so much volunteer labour and for Huffman to use phrases like “landed gentry” is outrageous

This conversation reminds me of difficulties in real life politics, especially on the local level. Something that always struck me in how it’s spoken about is that the preferences of the “lurkers” are often presented in opposition to the “active users”, when the entire problem is that it’s hard to tell what the mass of people want.

I suppose it’s different here though. On Reddit, the lurkers can be assumed to be okay with the status quo, but in politics, people who don’t vote or engage with politics may be the complete opposite