Stop whining. They’re trying to help give you training wheels. They’re responding with their experience, and you’re being hypercritical about semantics.

If you go to a medical expert complaining about pain, do you get offended when they tell you how to fix it? And for the natural response “they aren’t doctors”, well (a) they may be and (b) if you really want the level of help you’d expect from a medical professional, perhaps don’t ask the internet.

I was in a similar situation with my professors at one point: I was applying for a master’s program, and they only wanted PhD students. Luckily, I had three professors willing to speak up for me – one whose class I got an A in. The other two I barely passed (and one of those I technically didn’t, and I had to retake it). Both of those classes were 8am classes, and I slept through almost every class – if I managed to show up.

I figured they both had horrible impressions of me, but I accidentally had lunch with one of them one day, and we ended up talking for quite a bit. That gave me courage to talk to the other one, and she’s the one that recommended I talk to a sleep doctor (I got around to it 3 yrs later, and it turns out I have narcolepsy).

Not every teacher is going to be quite that amazing – I’ve had plenty of the exact opposite – but in my experience, I have a bad habit of projecting my own image of myself onto my perception of how others see me.

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and I’m not trying to minimize what you’re going through. I hope this is helpful. You can do this!

First of all – congrats! You made it through. That’s not an easy task, and you made it.

Second, don’t toss out grad school just yet. Poor grades will have an impact, but it’s not an insurmountable obstacle. One good option would be to try to find a job as a lab tech. Learn the ropes, improve your skills on the job, then start applying. Along the way, talk to the profesors and tell them what you want to do – they may have advice and be able to help. Most achools also have career counselor who can help, too.

A big also: Don’t pay for grad school in STEM (maybe just STE?). Most schools waive tuition and pay you a stipend as an RA or TA.

Third: Burn out is real. Push through what you can, but take time for yourself. This may mean taking an afternoon off or a week off – you know what you need and what you can afford.

Context: I’m a director in a biotech with a PhD. Looking into autism for my kids and realizing I am almost certainly on the spectrum myself.