What if… just what if… you say “Thank you, big man Blastoise”?
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Joined 19 days ago
Cake day: April 10th, 2025
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2·2 days agoListen, your family migrated here like a 100 years ago from Europe… so we’ll just assume you’re Tren de Aragua. What? No, this has nothing to do with you being an intellectual or a lefty. Now get in the concentration ca-I mean; the extralegal detention centre… yes, that’s it.
4·2 days agoVery well done. You’re booked at the stockade for the entirety of next week.
The battle is lost (´；ω；｀)
The arms race is real (╯︵╰,)
Crypto is still bullshit ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ
But AI is here to stay ʕಠ_ಠʔ
Yeah, I don’t like it either (⌐■-■)
I even hear Norway’s getting a navy (ㆁωㆁ)
30·4 days agoThis is the worst Disney secret agent teen action tv show ever.
I got my regular “off-brand taxi” habibi on standby. In case I need it, I send him a signal and he swoops by as I take a flying leap into his car and we scoot tf out of there in his hatchback.
7·5 days agoWalking around to test the shoes was almost impossible, but usually gathered a little crowd to cheer the lassie on.
No dog? Antichrist. How do I know? Look at the president of Ireland and his dog.
I bet you could have a transcendent discussion with that dog under a Bodi tree.
Light would emanate from behind the dog, as it would muster human words and say “Trump is the death of the soul.”
Your heart sinks, for now you have seen beyond the mask of the world eater. Behind layers of oil and fat lay the hungry maw of a demon - and you thought he was the savior.
His tiny, cold hands are placed on your shoulder as he starts massaging you from behind. It’s as if your spirit was tickling his nose, as if one snort would absorb your effervescent soul from your body, and be swallowed into a pit of despairing souls as he breathes down your neck. He wants more, and more, and more souls for his maw, his crawdad declaring “Daddy’s home” as tendrils protrude from his gullet, tickling the nape of your neck - letting off a murmur from one of his many bellies.
Hi, I’m Dan Clondyke and this was an excerpt from my book “Trump, the demon of gluttony”, a manuscript originally drafted for a Steam Workshop hentai dating simulator, which was instead made into a 7 book horror fantasy series based around Trump grabbing forever by the pussy - and ripping it in twain.
I’ll be doing a reading in Boston this weekend at the “Yes, there’s a market for this sort of thing” expo, in the “Pseudoporn” projector room.
Incidentally, I’m completely daffy, but it hasn’t impeded my political career.
1·5 days agoHuman society just has to round this one up by ishowspeed randomly slamming open some entrance near Musk, taking aim and lining up a smack - which is accelerated by speed leaning into it with a double flip - that explodes on to Elons face, effectively implanting Elons skull into the center of a small crater.
The monument of his remains will be maintained to inform future generations of what had transpired that day.
40·6 days agoLook at those evil immigrants. No doubt they’ll… they’ll… hold on, can we use some AI to replace the stock photo with brown people? Thank you.
9·7 days agoWow, he’s doing what Putin wasn’t stupid enough to do. But the question is: are the republicans stupider?
The #pope? ⛪
He ded… ☠️
Amen. 🙏
exe malware: targets Wine
me: oh shi
5·15 days ago“How’s the pon far going, Ollie?”
“SOMEBODY GONNA DIE”
I just listened to Linkin Park “Reanimation”…
… I’VE COME SO FAR TO LOOSE IT ALL~!
IN THE END~ IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER~!
…he sucked dick at airport toilet, didn’t he?
Saying that the client is FOSS, but the server is proprietary, I like saying you have a chastity belt - with a ventilation hole in the back.
You finna get effed in the a.