To start: no, there are no “trusted male figures” in our lives. My brothers & father are all conservative, and I DO NOT trust them to properly explain things without shame and/or religious context.

My son knows the basics of reproduction, but I’ve never really explained what’s “normal” things for a teenage boy to go through… mainly because I don’t know!

I’ve definitely put it off, so he’s almost 14 and is much more physically mature than most of his peers (he’s got hair in places, shaves his face regularly, etc.)… but I’m embarrassed to admit that I know next to nothing about anything else…

Could y’all help me out? What did you go through that he should know about? What should I know about?

Many thanks to anyone who can help. Please don’t be unkind. Much appreciated.

EDIT: Thank you so much for all the advice so far!! Please keep it up!!

My son & I have very open communication & a very good relationship.

  • @[email protected]English
    23•3 hours ago

    At some point. For the love of all that is holy you MUST tell you son the following: Never come in a woman unless you want a baby. Even if she tells you to. Even if she claims she is protected.

    NEVER COME IN A WOMAN WITH WHOM YOU DO NOT WISH TO HAVE A BABY

    Women will baby-trap the living fuck out of young men. He NEEDS to know this.

    • SharkEatingBreakfastOP
      13•2 hours ago

      Women will baby-trap the living fuck out of young men. He NEEDS to know this.

      Was with you until this line. C’mon now.

      • @[email protected]English
        1•23 minutes ago

        You need to understand that is one of a host of reasons and things that can be said. I’m not going to write a 40-page essay. Frank talk is necessary, too bad you can’t see that and choose to focus on the gender thing. That’s really about you and not me. Frank talk about all aspects of sex is vital. Get a grip.

        edit: And I’m not going to sit here and qualify my statements carefully in case you’re too in-the-weeds to focus on underlying points. I don’t need to “not every woman” and bs like that. You should be smart enough to not need constant pandering to and kid glove treatment.

        • @[email protected]
          1•9 minutes ago

          Do you think “frank” means “without nuance or care for how what I’m saying could be misconstrued as bigotry”?

          Like, literally the only change I know I’d like to see is “there are some women who” and like… that’s hardly an imposition, y’know? Definitely not a “40 page essay” either.

        • @[email protected]
          4•1 hour ago

          Weirdos end up on Lemmy. Many of us are a splendidly wonderful, if pedantic, sort.

          And then there’s the weirdos that… aren’t that. The ones who never built social skills or the ability to look at the world from beyond their own limited experiences. The ones who extrapolate with reckless abandon, usually in the traditional directions of punching down.

          I’m sorry if they or someone they know got baby-trapped, but that is DEFINITELY not the usual nor should it be phrased like it is.