“I came here to say it’s become clear to me that it’s not my time. So after much prayer and deliberation, I have decided to suspend my campaign for president effective today,” Pence said, to audible gasps from the audience gathered at the Venetian resort on the Las Vegas strip.

    • squiblet
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      3211 months ago

      That’s really the weirdest thing about these performative Jesus people. One, Jesus said to shut the fuck up about your supposed faith and not display it in public in an attempt to seem pious. But anyway, he can’t work it out logically? He needs supernatural inspiration to make any decision?

      • @[email protected]
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        711 months ago

        Indeed, if they listened to their OWN religion, they’d literally get back in the closet, but they chose to follow the likes of James Robison:

        I am sick and tired of hearing about all of the radicals and the perverts and the liberals and the leftists and the Communists coming out of the closets! It is time for God’s people to come out of the closets, out on the porches, and change America! We must do it!

        I’d rather they go back to the closet, if they ever were in the closet at all. As instructed by their OWN holy book they talk about so much. How many of them have read it?

        But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

        • squiblet
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          11 months ago

          Modern christians are the hypocrites the New Testament warns us about. Actual Christians who adhered to the principles of Jesus would be wonderful people.

      • ivanafterall
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        1811 months ago

        Jesus was still feeling out the poll numbers, etc…and hadn’t decided until now.

        • @[email protected]
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          511 months ago

          For an omniscient and unchanging god, he sure does seem to not know things and change his mind based on human actions.

    • @[email protected]
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      511 months ago

      Can’t tell which is worse. Either:

      • God: “bro nobody wants you to be prez just stop”
      • Brain thinking to itself: “bro nobody wants you to be prez just stop”