The fucking Muppets aren’t entertaining. At all. Not even a tiny little bit. First of all, who is their intended audience, even? Not kids, really, because they contain a bunch of references to stuff that kids really won’t get. Kids don’t really know how a rock drummer is supposed to behave. They won’t find Kermit and Miss Piggy’s couple dynamics relatable. They don’t understand that Fozzie Bear is supposed to be an old-fashioned standup comedian. It’s all a bunch of weird cultural callouts, from a very specific 1950s-through-1970s American time period. Even kids in the mid-1970s didn’t actually understand what they were seeing.

But, on the other hand, none of that shit is appealing to adults. At least, it shouldn’t be. The pig woman is low-key horny all the time, but isn’t being satisfied by the naked frog guy? That’s funny to you? Those old guys are trolling everyone from the fake balcony seats, but they can’t ever actually put together an actual joke? You can’t understand what either the chef or the scientist guy is saying?

STOP ME IF I GET TO SOMETHING THAT’S ACTUALLY FUNNY, RIGHT?

It just isn’t fucking funny. Any of it. And it’s really not cute. It’s allllll just fucking stupid, from start to finish.

I don’t get what the appeal was ever supposed to be, and I’m pretty sure it only got popular because a large number of people were simultaneously afraid that they were missing the joke, missing references, missing SOMETHING, and they didn’t want to be seen as stupid, soooooo they agreed with the small number of shitheads, who were like “BRILLIANT! THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE PUPPETRY FOREVER!”

Puppetry is a shit-tier medium, anyway. Yeah, I said it. Real controversy I’m kicking up, huh? Yeah, you all KNOW puppetry sucks. It originated during the Classical and Medieval periods, when people desperately needed entertainment, but couldn’t stand to look at the faces of the other villagers for one more second, even if they’d written a play, and it was the only thing you could go and see, other than your walls.

The only SENSIBLE reason that the fucking Muppets are actually beloved is that people in the English-speaking world all watched Sesame Street, and that show is tangentially associated with the Muppets. And that’s fine. But it’s actually a kids’ show. And it’s not really the same exact thing as the Muppets. The two franchises are related, but Sesame Street actually teaches kids the alphabet and shit.

And fuck Jim Henson, himself. He was just some guy with a beard and a MASSIVE EGO. You’d have to have a giant fucking ego to shit out that kind of nonsense, with such utter confidence. If only he’d been able to actually write comedy or drama, he probably WOULD have been a great man. But he couldn’t, so he wasn’t. He was just a weirdo with a puppet fixation, who had a knack for jamming his foot into Hollywood’s door, before anyone could close it on him. More’s the pity.

Stop lionizing a deeply and pathetically unfunny, uninteresting man, just because he died tragically. Lots of people die tragically. It doesn’t retroactively give them talent.

EDIT: hmmmmmm, it seems as if my UNPOPULAR OPINION, which I posted in the place for UNPOPULAR OPINIONS is immediately proving to be pretty UNPOPULAR. Please keep this in mind, when you’re getting ready to type your personal attacks.

  • @[email protected]
    6•6 months ago

    EDIT: hmmmmmm, it seems as if my UNPOPULAR OPINION, which I posted in the place for UNPOPULAR OPINIONS is immediately proving to be pretty UNPOPULAR. Please keep this in mind, when you’re getting ready to type your personal attacks.

    I wonder if it’s your opinion that’s causing the attacks or the expression of it…? (Hint: it’s the latter.)

    You don’t like the Muppets. We get it. Great. Nobody is expected to like everything by anybody who’s sane. For example I can’t fucking stand Doctor Who. I hated it as a child and I hate it more as an adult. I also hated Star Trek: The Next Generation onward in the Trek canon … except I kinda liked Enterprise. (Not loved. Kinda liked.)

    But…

    You see how I expressed that I can’t stand these shows? Notice how I didn’t at any point say that people who liked them are my inferiors for it? Let’s take a look at your performance now:

    …none of that shit is appealing to adults. At least, it shouldn’t be.

    Ooh! Strike one! Expressing BadWrongFun™. Right there you’ve got the reason your “opinion” is getting personal attacks. YOU FUCKING STARTED IT!

    …a large number of people were simultaneously afraid that they were missing the joke, missing references, missing SOMETHING, and they didn’t want to be seen as stupid, soooooo they agreed with the small number of shitheads, who were like “BRILLIANT! THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE PUPPETRY FOREVER!”

    YOU didn’t get it so anybody who likes it must be doing it for fake reasons. After all they can’t possibly like something you don’t! It must be faked! (Or shitheads.)

    Yeah, I wonder why you’re getting personal attacks?

    The only SENSIBLE reason that the fucking Muppets are actually beloved is that people in the English-speaking world all watched Sesame Street…

    And more insulting reasons for people liking something you don’t. Yeah, there’s absolutely no reason why anybody would reach for personal attacks after your expression of your opinion.

    Stop lionizing a deeply and pathetically unfunny, uninteresting man, just because he died tragically.

    Except of course he was beloved long before he died. So not only do you suck at not being an offensive, yet somehow whiny, twat, you also have no clue how “time” works.

    So, here’s a thought: if you’re going to break out the flamethrowers, don’t be whining when people toss fire back at you. Or maybe, just maybe, you could try expressing the opinion you have without the insulting takes on those who disagree with it, without ascribing motive with no evidence (because “proof by lack of imagination” is actually a logical fallacy), and with at least some hint displayed of knowing what “time” is and how it works.