Hi everyone! I like the posts so far, but I’m wondering: What exactly is a gooner girl? The gifs don’t seem to have anything in common other than being relatively vanilla heterosexual media, and the wider interwebs aren’t immediately defining it either.
If “gooner girl” is too simplistic and this isn’t enough of a post to be worth responding to yet, then here’s another question: What does “gooner girl” (or “gooner” or “goon”, etc.) mean to you personally?
I hope it’s alright to post this here. The rules didn’t say much. Cheers!
Don’t know about GoonetteHub!
Not tuned into the Discord NSFW scene. Maybe I should be. Could you clue me in?
I think this failed because I’m just not well enough tuned in to what women wanted out of it. I do think there are women here. Though they’re quiet about it.
Haha GoonetteHub used to be pretty great, but less so nowadays.
Discord is really hit or miss. Most of them are just friends groups with a ‘NSFW selfies’ section. It just feels better from the poster’s perspective I suppose. Like, I can get 100 upvotes and a few nice comments on Lemmy, but that’s really it. In a discord group of 20ish people though, each comment and reply is a lot more personable and feels more meaningful even though there’s less. I think the continuance of the same conversation(s) across multiple pics/vids helps keep interest. Like, a Lemmy post that references another Lemmy post tends to get quite a bit of traction. People like conversations more than a few words, and Lemmy struggles badly with that.
Maybe it’s just my perspective on things as a bi F, but nearly all the non-OF women here I’ve liked are gone (SensuallyLynn for example). So now even if I went back to posting here, I’d be doing it out of some sort of communal obligation rather than personal enjoyment.
My view is that it’s not the OF creators who drove away amateur creators, it was the abuse directed at them by men who wanted only women with model like figures. I saw so many horrific body shaming comments along those lines. Here’s an example of that, which really affected how I changed moderation policy and got strict about assholes shitting on contributors:
https://lemmynsfw.com/post/6909667
I really think that’s the core of what drove away amateur OC contributors. Who would expose themselves, physically and emotionally, for free, only to be shit on by the audience? So they left. And that suppressed audience, because who’d come here without content? At least OF creators post stuff. And we have much too little of that right now. JMO
But if you were contributing, you’d have a first hand impression. I’d love your opinion on that.
My lived experience on that matter was a bit of both. I was fortunate enough to never get any directly abusive messages or comments, just weird ones. A guy once commented (paraphrasing), “Your wearing the wrong buttplug.” Which made me laugh my ass off all day lol. The demanding comments could be off putting though.
I just saw it as: “Okay. The people here prefer pictures of models and OF advertisements more than interacting with actual women. Guess I’ll go elsewhere.” While there have certainly been great women with OF accounts active here (u/Rinn for example), they’re great because they choose to interact with the community organically. Accounts like u/Lorra and u/marichka are 100% why I chose to leave, not any sort of harassment. They’ll always have a much bigger impact on the community than people like u/SquirtMistress and myself, because they are able to target this instance with dozens of accounts posting daily. Also, notice the similarities between those two accounts. Both eastern European with similar posting habits, and zero comment. u/Marichka was even created the same day as u/nino_pasteloo and u/karin_masitoo, and also follow the same patterns. So I really think its a business or something running the accounts. And there are dozens of them.
TLDR; I 100% left because I believe OnlyFans bot accounts are dominating the instance, not any sort of harassment.
OK. So, I happen to know that many OF accounts are managed by a media company promoting creators’ work. That’s true.
Thank you for your perspective. It’s different from mine, but valid just the same. If you don’t mind, I’ll share this comment with other mods and admins. They might find it interesting.
Just to be upfront, I’ve also decided to step away from the instance for the exact reasons Just_Pizza_Crust mentions.
While there’s definitely more than anyone would like, you can always combat shitty comments with positive comments, community action, or moderation, but it’s become clear that a large portion of the community is okay with the OF bot spam. Unfortunately this type of advertising is cancerous in the way it spreads and has a tendency to overtake anywhere that it’s permitted. Logging in has just turned into an act of frustration.
I understand getting annoyed by duplicates. But how are OF posts any worse than reposted commercial porn?
My view is that a lot of people like OF content. It’s not for me. I mean, you know what I’m into. But where else will OC content come from?
I just don’t view submissions as zero sum. OF postings don’t crowd out amateurs, they add to the pot.
When someone posts commercial porn they are sharing something that they enjoy and/or are passionate about. I don’t personally enjoy it, but there is value to this. This is especially true for more niche kinks and preferences.
Personally I’ll never spend a dime on an OF, but I don’t have a problem with it and I can see its appeal. I have no problems with and great respect for the women that are posting to market themselves and making themselves a part of the community.
I do however take heavy offense with the management agencies that have taken hold. Unlike those who post from commercial porn or shoot archives, they have no incentive to care about the community or instance as a whole. The only thing they care about is quick visibility and casting a wide net. They don’t care if a post is relevant and will get removed in an hour or two, only that it’s seen. They don’t care what someone says in regards to the post, only that they click on their link. In my mind, these posts are no different than a bot and when you allow this behavior unchecked it quickly gets out of hand.
It’s not a zero sum game, but you’re fooling yourself if you think it doesn’t dissuade non-commercial posts.
Fair enough. If I read this right, your main sticking point is that of a commercial third party acting as posting intermediary for creators. You don’t think they act in the community’s best interest.
Go ahead, though I actually got all this info from another user. They had been working on a “writeup” of the situation before going dark. I haven’t heard from them recently, but I’ll try reaching out to see what they have. She kinda got ignored by one Moderator though, so idk if she’s even on Lemmy anymore.
Not listening to the people who create content is definitely how we got in this mess.
Thank you so much for writing your lived experience perspective. I really hope to bump into you again. If you get a reply, I’d love to hear about that too.
The comments men make are truly atrocious. I have posted previously on an old account and received 99% wonderful comments but the shitty ones really suck even if it was the minority. Also those who weren’t brave enough to say it publicly would DM it instead.
So now with my new account I just post positive comments in male focused communities and report the shitty comments I see directed towards the few OC posters left.
I’m sorry you were driven away. My sense is the gonewild mod team has really improved moderation and removes the really horrible stuff now. But for a time it was basically unmoderated. And IMO that damaged our reputation with creators who might have stayed with more active moderation.
Thank you for your perspective.
It does seem to have gotten a bit better so hopefully OC posters will come back. It may be tough with so many OF pics being posted though. It’s not something you can really dissuade either because without those posts there would be hardly any content at all.
Having just read through this comment chain, just wanted to say you’re awesome for commenting on the men posting!
I don’t comment that often, but my upvotes are definitely focused on real OC (not OF), because that’s the content, that’s the engagement with the community that I hope thrives. Men, women, NB, doesn’t matter - real people are real sexy.
Thanks 🙂
Also, I’m seriously trying to set up BDSM as a top portal to stitch together the other kink communities here. I bring that up because of what you said about discussion and community interaction. Which I agree with 100%. See here:
https://lemmynsfw.com/post/7682770
I’m not much of a porn consoomer, but I liked the behind the scenes commentary of this comment chain.