I need some relationship advice. I suggested 125% but my wife won’t budge from 10%. Is this normal? How did it go when you had this conversation with your romantic partner?

  • @[email protected]
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    639 months ago

    I find the quantification of very emotional topics not very helpfull in the long run:

    What counts as “10% better”?

    Do you know if the number, should it even exist, stays consistent? Or that you got the “correct one”?

    My advice:

    Find out what you seek out in a relathionship, what you want to avoid, and then talk about it.

    Because “10% better” could just mean the other guy is driving more carefull with the family-car, doesnt chew with an open mouth or shaves more often.

    • Khrux
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      309 months ago

      Yeah the idea that somebody has a percentage rating of quality is genuine lunacy. It’s also sociopathic to overlook that being fond of someone despite their flaws or “lower rating”.

    • ivanafterall
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      219 months ago

      This seems to be the whole point. Neg the other person and make them question their own worth. “Oh, no! I’d better keep them happy. Is THAT GUY 10% better than me!?”

    • HopeOfTheGunblade
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      149 months ago

      If they chew open mouthed and are not amenable to change that is a straight up deal breaker, sorry not sorry, my misophonia doesn’t leave room to compromise on that.