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I’m a sub to my wife. When she hurts me, it gives her a satisfying sense of control. She’s very empathetic and can see my desire and pain, and me fighting through the pain to ask more.
If I had to sum up the goal of BDSM: intimacy.
Just as sharing a sexual experience is intimate, so is sharing a painful one.
Of course, it’s not for everyone and it’s not universal.