Per my prior comment - “Find a hobby that often has some kind of social interaction and stereotypically attracts women in your age range.” That is not D&D, my dude. To later points - that’s where you need to be to meet people. I’m going to assume that you don’t go to church, and you said that you were out of college. That said, taking personal enrichment classes can be a good place to meet people and make friends, like finding classes on pottery throwing, or jewelry making. (Lapidary tends to attract more men though, which is a little odd.) Classes on making stained glass, maybe? Or ballroom dancing.
I’m not exactly in shape but I’m not exactly out of it either […] Supposedly dad bods are in however.
Yeah, no. Get in shape. I mean the kind of shape where you have a resting heart rate below 60bpm, can run at least a 5k and survive, lifting free weights, etc. In general people that are in good physical condition, and look like it, will have a far easier time dating, because that’s your first impression. The ‘dad bod’ thing isn’t about women preferring men that look like X, Y, or Z, but is more a statement that personality and how a man acts is more important than how he looks. HOWEVER, your appearance is going to be the first thing that people see, so you want to start on a high point.
For reference, when I was dating, I was riding my bike about 28 miles/day, 5 days/week, and in the gym about two hours a day.
I do take showers nightly
I would suggest morning rather than nightly. People sweat at night, and you want to start the day as fresh as possible.
I’ve seen worse though, and from women at that!
Irrelevant. You’re trying to create a positive impression.
Not a supervisor, but yeah it just seems like a whole can of worms I’d rather leave closed.
It is not something I’d recommend if you work closely with a person.
Honestly, I think that the best bet is going to be trying to make friends through classes that you take for enjoyment, and just trying to be social there. Like, no pressure, not goal-oriented socializing, just trying to meet people and make friends socializing.
Find a hobby that often has some kind of social interaction and stereotypically attracts women in your age range." That is not D&D, my dude.
Sees post about woman complaining about her D&D group
“Women don’t play D&D!”
Bruh Crit Roll came out, your info is like 10yr out of date, women play TTRPGs now. Nerdy ones mostly but that’s cool.
Pottery class is a good idea though, I could get into that shit!
Cool plastic surgery it is lol. Nah ngl I think you’re wrong about the whole “you have to look like them steroid using celebs” but who knows.
Unfortunately I can’t ride my bike that long as I have a job. I’m 5’6" 130lbs no abs, they can take it or leave it at that point tbh, fuck em if they want to be shallow. I’m not going to completely change who I am and become a gym rat, I don’t think it’s as serious of an issue as you make it out to be.
Well too bad! Nightly it is, I’d rather sleep on clean sheets than get home greasy and sweaty from a 10hr shift of manual labour and pretend that getting into bed in that state is not disgusting as fuck, and I’m not taking 2 showers a day unless I need to.
Well cats gotta play, the laundry I can indees pick up but if they don’t want a dude with cats tbh I’m not the one.
Yeah I don’t reccomend it either which is why I say I don’t want to do it, logically.
Yeah that pottery class idea sounds like a good one.
Bruh Crit Roll came out, your info is like 10yr out of date, women play TTRPGs now. Nerdy ones mostly but that’s cool.
It’s still heavily stacked towards being men. If your end goal is to meet women that you can be friends with, and possibly date, you want to reverse those ratios.
Nah ngl I think you’re wrong about the whole “you have to look like them steroid using celebs” but who knows.
For a first impression? It absolutely helps. That’s the whole point of a first impression; they have absolutely nothing to go off but your appearance, so you need to make your appearance look as good as possible. Being bigger than, say, Dwayne Johnson in his prime probably isn’t going to help. And the kind of fitness I’m talking about can absolutely be achieved without resorting to illegal drugs or cosmetic surgery.
Unfortunately I can’t ride my bike that long as I have a job.
That was how I got to and from work. Work was 14 miles, one way, in city traffic. I carried work clothes in a large messenger bag and changed when I got to work. (This obvs. doesn’t work if you have a job that requires you to carry e.g. tools to and from job sites.)
I’m not going to completely change who I am and become a gym rat, I don’t think it’s as serious of an issue as you make it out to be.
Look, that’s on you. But the idea that, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” didn’t work well for Stuart Smalley either. A lot of people think that you shouldn’t have to change anything about who you are in order to find or attract a partner, or that people should ‘accept me as I am’; I disagree with that. If you aren’t finding people that are interested in who you are–and that you are likewise interested in–then the problem isn’t with other people, it’s within you, and incumbent on you to make the changes in yourself. You want your own psychological needs and desires met, but at the same time, you need to be ready and able to meet the needs and desires of another person. And yes, that means making changes. And those changes can be difficult and uncomfortable to make.
You can argue about which changes are, and are not, reasonable to make, but ultimately, if you aren’t willing to make changes, then you can’t expect to find what you say you want.
Well cats gotta play,
I have 6 of them (three Sphynx, one Cornish Rex, a Siamese, and a formerly feral Manx, down from an all-time high of 10). I’m aware. But I still pick up their toys, vacuum the floors/carpet/upholstery, clean their boxes, wipe up the food they pull out of their bowls, etc.
Per my prior comment - “Find a hobby that often has some kind of social interaction and stereotypically attracts women in your age range.” That is not D&D, my dude. To later points - that’s where you need to be to meet people. I’m going to assume that you don’t go to church, and you said that you were out of college. That said, taking personal enrichment classes can be a good place to meet people and make friends, like finding classes on pottery throwing, or jewelry making. (Lapidary tends to attract more men though, which is a little odd.) Classes on making stained glass, maybe? Or ballroom dancing.
Yeah, no. Get in shape. I mean the kind of shape where you have a resting heart rate below 60bpm, can run at least a 5k and survive, lifting free weights, etc. In general people that are in good physical condition, and look like it, will have a far easier time dating, because that’s your first impression. The ‘dad bod’ thing isn’t about women preferring men that look like X, Y, or Z, but is more a statement that personality and how a man acts is more important than how he looks. HOWEVER, your appearance is going to be the first thing that people see, so you want to start on a high point.
For reference, when I was dating, I was riding my bike about 28 miles/day, 5 days/week, and in the gym about two hours a day.
I would suggest morning rather than nightly. People sweat at night, and you want to start the day as fresh as possible.
Irrelevant. You’re trying to create a positive impression.
It is not something I’d recommend if you work closely with a person.
Honestly, I think that the best bet is going to be trying to make friends through classes that you take for enjoyment, and just trying to be social there. Like, no pressure, not goal-oriented socializing, just trying to meet people and make friends socializing.
Sees post about woman complaining about her D&D group
“Women don’t play D&D!”
Bruh Crit Roll came out, your info is like 10yr out of date, women play TTRPGs now. Nerdy ones mostly but that’s cool.
Pottery class is a good idea though, I could get into that shit!
Cool plastic surgery it is lol. Nah ngl I think you’re wrong about the whole “you have to look like them steroid using celebs” but who knows.
Unfortunately I can’t ride my bike that long as I have a job. I’m 5’6" 130lbs no abs, they can take it or leave it at that point tbh, fuck em if they want to be shallow. I’m not going to completely change who I am and become a gym rat, I don’t think it’s as serious of an issue as you make it out to be.
Well too bad! Nightly it is, I’d rather sleep on clean sheets than get home greasy and sweaty from a 10hr shift of manual labour and pretend that getting into bed in that state is not disgusting as fuck, and I’m not taking 2 showers a day unless I need to.
Well cats gotta play, the laundry I can indees pick up but if they don’t want a dude with cats tbh I’m not the one.
Yeah I don’t reccomend it either which is why I say I don’t want to do it, logically.
Yeah that pottery class idea sounds like a good one.
It’s still heavily stacked towards being men. If your end goal is to meet women that you can be friends with, and possibly date, you want to reverse those ratios.
For a first impression? It absolutely helps. That’s the whole point of a first impression; they have absolutely nothing to go off but your appearance, so you need to make your appearance look as good as possible. Being bigger than, say, Dwayne Johnson in his prime probably isn’t going to help. And the kind of fitness I’m talking about can absolutely be achieved without resorting to illegal drugs or cosmetic surgery.
That was how I got to and from work. Work was 14 miles, one way, in city traffic. I carried work clothes in a large messenger bag and changed when I got to work. (This obvs. doesn’t work if you have a job that requires you to carry e.g. tools to and from job sites.)
Look, that’s on you. But the idea that, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” didn’t work well for Stuart Smalley either. A lot of people think that you shouldn’t have to change anything about who you are in order to find or attract a partner, or that people should ‘accept me as I am’; I disagree with that. If you aren’t finding people that are interested in who you are–and that you are likewise interested in–then the problem isn’t with other people, it’s within you, and incumbent on you to make the changes in yourself. You want your own psychological needs and desires met, but at the same time, you need to be ready and able to meet the needs and desires of another person. And yes, that means making changes. And those changes can be difficult and uncomfortable to make.
You can argue about which changes are, and are not, reasonable to make, but ultimately, if you aren’t willing to make changes, then you can’t expect to find what you say you want.
I have 6 of them (three Sphynx, one Cornish Rex, a Siamese, and a formerly feral Manx, down from an all-time high of 10). I’m aware. But I still pick up their toys, vacuum the floors/carpet/upholstery, clean their boxes, wipe up the food they pull out of their bowls, etc.