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    5 months ago

    Remember when Jesus was known for conning people and cheating them?

    Famously tricked an entire wedding party into thinking a jug of water was delicious wine. Pushed quack medicine to “resurrect” fellow con-man Lazarus of Bethany and treat mental illness by herding a pack of 30-50 wild hogs off a cliff. Trashed an entire temple to clear a bad loan to some money changers. Pretended to get crucified and then slipped off three days later, after his buddy Judas Iscariot had absconded with 30 pieces of silver.

    “Don’t worry guys! I’ll be back any day now!” Hasn’t been seen in over 2000 years.