Not saying “sorry”, and instead saying “thank you for your patience”, will make me internally think “no, I wasn’t feeling patient at all”, and I’ll think you’re a condescending asshole and undermine you at every turn.
People need to learn how to apologize gracefully and keep moving.
It works as an implied apology, but you can also just say you’re sorry and move on.
In my experience, both American colleagues, and older colleagues, tend to have a weird guilt complex that often prevents them from just saying sorry and moving on and not having it be a big deal. I think the god fearing, bible thumping, everything you do is a sin, kind of upbringing has knock on effects that lead to toxic behaviour like not being able to admit fault easily.
Imho, it shows far more confidence to be able to confidently admit fault and not be broken to pieces over it, you know that everyone makes mistakes and that you can fix yours better than most.
Thanks. I’m terrible about thinking this way. I always follow my curiosity and really only care about an abstract understanding any people that like to explore. When I’m the boss, no one works for me; they work with me and take on responsibility or I do it myself and get rid of them. I can do it all; not the best or the fastest, but I can do about anything if I really try. To me, social dynamics seem childish, but I also suck at things like emotional reinforcement and coercive sales. Most places I’ve worked, I wind up operating outside of any management structure, set my own hours, etc.
One of the big steps to becoming a boss who enables others is understanding that you can’t do it all yourself, and that your job is to help other people do more than you could yourself alone. I am learning that as I transition from being “the buck stops here guy“ to a manager
Definitely. I do exactly that. I do not want to do it all myself and I do not micromanage. I simply expect others to take on what they can along side me and build a sense of competition between us.
My approach stems from owning a body shop twice and hiring people I liked from the dealerships I worked for all the time. I never hired anyone with experience in auto body because I specialized in a very specific niche type of repair and used nonstandard techniques. I could and did occasionally do traditional work, but the majority of the time I did not. So I had to teach everyone everything about the job. I have absolutely no problem doing the most menial task if that is what needs to be done in the moment; nothing is beneath me, and I expect that kind of attitude from everyone I work with, just do what needs to be done and move on. I won’t waste a minute with anyone that resists that kind of thing; I find it adolescent and childish. I know I’m a jack of all trades, and not the best at any given task, but I’m excellent at plugging the holes and working more like a group of friends.
What kind of personality is always aware of this kind of perceptive interaction, and what are their core thought functions?
it’s as simple as not taking a submissive or apologetic tone. Realizing you are a peer with the other party.
Also cutting out filler words and disfluencies common in casual conversation.
Not saying “sorry”, and instead saying “thank you for your patience”, will make me internally think “no, I wasn’t feeling patient at all”, and I’ll think you’re a condescending asshole and undermine you at every turn.
People need to learn how to apologize gracefully and keep moving.
how about “I appreciate you waiting”
It works as an implied apology, but you can also just say you’re sorry and move on.
In my experience, both American colleagues, and older colleagues, tend to have a weird guilt complex that often prevents them from just saying sorry and moving on and not having it be a big deal. I think the god fearing, bible thumping, everything you do is a sin, kind of upbringing has knock on effects that lead to toxic behaviour like not being able to admit fault easily.
Imho, it shows far more confidence to be able to confidently admit fault and not be broken to pieces over it, you know that everyone makes mistakes and that you can fix yours better than most.
Thanks. I’m terrible about thinking this way. I always follow my curiosity and really only care about an abstract understanding any people that like to explore. When I’m the boss, no one works for me; they work with me and take on responsibility or I do it myself and get rid of them. I can do it all; not the best or the fastest, but I can do about anything if I really try. To me, social dynamics seem childish, but I also suck at things like emotional reinforcement and coercive sales. Most places I’ve worked, I wind up operating outside of any management structure, set my own hours, etc.
One of the big steps to becoming a boss who enables others is understanding that you can’t do it all yourself, and that your job is to help other people do more than you could yourself alone. I am learning that as I transition from being “the buck stops here guy“ to a manager
Definitely. I do exactly that. I do not want to do it all myself and I do not micromanage. I simply expect others to take on what they can along side me and build a sense of competition between us.
My approach stems from owning a body shop twice and hiring people I liked from the dealerships I worked for all the time. I never hired anyone with experience in auto body because I specialized in a very specific niche type of repair and used nonstandard techniques. I could and did occasionally do traditional work, but the majority of the time I did not. So I had to teach everyone everything about the job. I have absolutely no problem doing the most menial task if that is what needs to be done in the moment; nothing is beneath me, and I expect that kind of attitude from everyone I work with, just do what needs to be done and move on. I won’t waste a minute with anyone that resists that kind of thing; I find it adolescent and childish. I know I’m a jack of all trades, and not the best at any given task, but I’m excellent at plugging the holes and working more like a group of friends.
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