• @aubeynarf
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    7 days ago

    it’s as simple as not taking a submissive or apologetic tone. Realizing you are a peer with the other party.

    Also cutting out filler words and disfluencies common in casual conversation.

    • @[email protected]
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      7 days ago

      Not saying “sorry”, and instead saying “thank you for your patience”, will make me internally think “no, I wasn’t feeling patient at all”, and I’ll think you’re a condescending asshole and undermine you at every turn.

      People need to learn how to apologize gracefully and keep moving.

    • @[email protected]
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      37 days ago

      Thanks. I’m terrible about thinking this way. I always follow my curiosity and really only care about an abstract understanding any people that like to explore. When I’m the boss, no one works for me; they work with me and take on responsibility or I do it myself and get rid of them. I can do it all; not the best or the fastest, but I can do about anything if I really try. To me, social dynamics seem childish, but I also suck at things like emotional reinforcement and coercive sales. Most places I’ve worked, I wind up operating outside of any management structure, set my own hours, etc.

      • @aubeynarf
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        37 days ago

        One of the big steps to becoming a boss who enables others is understanding that you can’t do it all yourself, and that your job is to help other people do more than you could yourself alone. I am learning that as I transition from being “the buck stops here guy“ to a manager

        • @[email protected]
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          7 days ago

          Definitely. I do exactly that. I do not want to do it all myself and I do not micromanage. I simply expect others to take on what they can along side me and build a sense of competition between us.

          My approach stems from owning a body shop twice and hiring people I liked from the dealerships I worked for all the time. I never hired anyone with experience in auto body because I specialized in a very specific niche type of repair and used nonstandard techniques. I could and did occasionally do traditional work, but the majority of the time I did not. So I had to teach everyone everything about the job. I have absolutely no problem doing the most menial task if that is what needs to be done in the moment; nothing is beneath me, and I expect that kind of attitude from everyone I work with, just do what needs to be done and move on. I won’t waste a minute with anyone that resists that kind of thing; I find it adolescent and childish. I know I’m a jack of all trades, and not the best at any given task, but I’m excellent at plugging the holes and working more like a group of friends.