You have to remember that society is always telling you to live your life in a very specific way. Being an awkward teenager is a period where you’re supposed to be confused and finding things out about the world and being an lgbtq teenager is no different. There’s a surplus of teenage hormones that are new and confusing and you may not know what you want.
For lesbian women specifically, it’s not easy to have the entire world telling you your sexuality is just going to be a phase and that one day a big strong man is going to come along and “fix” you because after all “everyone feels those feelings sometimes.”
Disclaimer: I’m not a lesbian woman, just a bi guy with some experience with being confused about my sexuality.
As a bi guy, I relate. It took me ages to understand that I was not straight.
It’s easy and comfortable to comply to the heteronormativity, and ignore other feelings and options.
And, if I was a bi woman, I think that I would present myself as a lesbian.
First, because most straight men are still cavemen. I wouldn’t date a guy, unless I’m 100% sure he’s a safe golden retriever.
Also, because of the prejudices against bi women (“what about a threesome with an other girl?”).
I don’t want to idealize lesbian relationships, but between crossing a straight cis man, a lesbian or a bear in a forest, the choice seems pretty obvious to me.
I’m was the same way. I knew deep down for most of my life, but it honestly wasn’t until my late 20’s that I really accepted I was bi. My attraction just presented so differently for men that it was difficult for me to ever sit back and really say, okay yes I’m definitely not straight. That and as you say, we live in a heteronormative world and it’s easier to exist when you don’t go against the grain.
You have to remember that society is always telling you to live your life in a very specific way. Being an awkward teenager is a period where you’re supposed to be confused and finding things out about the world and being an lgbtq teenager is no different. There’s a surplus of teenage hormones that are new and confusing and you may not know what you want.
For lesbian women specifically, it’s not easy to have the entire world telling you your sexuality is just going to be a phase and that one day a big strong man is going to come along and “fix” you because after all “everyone feels those feelings sometimes.”
Disclaimer: I’m not a lesbian woman, just a bi guy with some experience with being confused about my sexuality.
As a bi guy, I relate. It took me ages to understand that I was not straight. It’s easy and comfortable to comply to the heteronormativity, and ignore other feelings and options.
And, if I was a bi woman, I think that I would present myself as a lesbian. First, because most straight men are still cavemen. I wouldn’t date a guy, unless I’m 100% sure he’s a safe golden retriever. Also, because of the prejudices against bi women (“what about a threesome with an other girl?”).
I don’t want to idealize lesbian relationships, but between crossing a straight cis man, a lesbian or a bear in a forest, the choice seems pretty obvious to me.
I’m was the same way. I knew deep down for most of my life, but it honestly wasn’t until my late 20’s that I really accepted I was bi. My attraction just presented so differently for men that it was difficult for me to ever sit back and really say, okay yes I’m definitely not straight. That and as you say, we live in a heteronormative world and it’s easier to exist when you don’t go against the grain.