I want to know what turns on other cultures. In the USA (stereotypically), it’s huge breasts paired with a tiny waist and full rump; or the yogabody look. For men, it’s trim and hung. *
But what gets say Japanese women going? Or what do Korean women like? Or Nigerian women? Hitomi Tanaka once said Japanese porn was all about defiling. So that explains some of their unique scene types.
What do Chinese women find hot about men? About Western men? Are there any universals?
And I’ve set this all up from hetero male, but these dynamics apply to all types.
- yes there are always many who are turned on by the counter narrative, but let’s start with the big tendencies.
Is it hard for prostitutes/escorts to distinguish between work and private enjoyment? Do they cum well during work or is it more like a chore where its not feeling good?
Not an escort or prostitute, but the answer I’ve heard:
“It’s like any other job. Sometimes you like the work, sometimes you don’t mind, and sometimes you feel like quitting”
Also not a prostitute, also heard them answer this before.
They often pick something that makes it clearly different. Like always use condom at work, never outside work. Maybe only the boyfriend gets anal. Or maybe only the boyfriend gets vagina.
Actually the condom thing was an issue mentioned in the news in my country. That is not a good strategy, especially if they get a new partner fairly often.
I’ve read lesbians sometimes don’t find out they are lesbian until they are in their twenties.
How is that even possible? Have they never felt arousal until then? Have they not seen girls undressing in the locker rooms? Have they not seen sexy music videos? And many more questions.
At 12 I (m) was masturbating to music videos of Beyonce ans Christina Aguilera, and just seeing a woman in a short skirt can make me breathless for a second. The concept of not having found one’s sexuality until adulthood is a hard one for me to grasp.
You have to remember that society is always telling you to live your life in a very specific way. Being an awkward teenager is a period where you’re supposed to be confused and finding things out about the world and being an lgbtq teenager is no different. There’s a surplus of teenage hormones that are new and confusing and you may not know what you want.
For lesbian women specifically, it’s not easy to have the entire world telling you your sexuality is just going to be a phase and that one day a big strong man is going to come along and “fix” you because after all “everyone feels those feelings sometimes.”
Disclaimer: I’m not a lesbian woman, just a bi guy with some experience with being confused about my sexuality.
As a bi guy, I relate. It took me ages to understand that I was not straight. It’s easy and comfortable to comply to the heteronormativity, and ignore other feelings and options.
And, if I was a bi woman, I think that I would present myself as a lesbian. First, because most straight men are still cavemen. I wouldn’t date a guy, unless I’m 100% sure he’s a safe golden retriever. Also, because of the prejudices against bi women (“what about a threesome with an other girl?”).
I don’t want to idealize lesbian relationships, but between crossing a straight cis man, a lesbian or a bear in a forest, the choice seems pretty obvious to me.
I’m was the same way. I knew deep down for most of my life, but it honestly wasn’t until my late 20’s that I really accepted I was bi. My attraction just presented so differently for men that it was difficult for me to ever sit back and really say, okay yes I’m definitely not straight. That and as you say, we live in a heteronormative world and it’s easier to exist when you don’t go against the grain.
Think of it as % of being gay.
Maybe you notice a guy be good at something, o r notice he has big muscles. You’re now 10% gay. Just make few other examples like it, you just think you’re being friendly And simply like being around them.
This takes time to piece together and being open about your sexuality being a spectrum rather than binary is a tough mental barrier because your entire life you were told to like X.
Admitting that the other gender has a nice ass takes time. And it is not 100% sexually driven. This applies to both men and female, but everyone is different. I’m just trying to give you some backstory to your women in 20s question as a possible scenario out of many.
Also, it’s very normal for straight women to appreciate beautiful women. When we look at porn, often I’ll focus on the woman, because I know how that feels, so instead of thinking “what I’d like to do to him” I am thinking “what would it feel to be her”, understand? But tried sex with women and nope, is not like sex for me. Not distressing just nothing there, I am heterosexual.
Having said all that - my kids were raised without any fear around sexual preference and all have been confident in whether they were into men, women, or both, from the start of their sexuality. So I do agree it’s family/social pressure or expectations a lot of the time. When those are not present, kids do find their way.
If a bi person has a “type,” is it consistent across genders? If you’re into short redhead women, are you into short redhead men?
No, or at least, not necessarily. Physically, I like females smaller than me and males bigger than me, and some other odd quirks that are definitely different between the sexes. Redheads and blondes drive me wild, for example, if they’re women, but turn me off in men. Give me black hair and dark eyes that frame a kissable male mouth…mm.
Mentally/personality is about the same for desire though.
I appreciate the answer!
I second what @imadethis said. My ‘type’ and even sexual preferences present differently between genders. To use your example, I find short redheaded women attractive, but generally am actually turned off by redheaded men in general.
The body types I look for in porn are not the same for men and women. And even when it’s femboy content, it’s something else again.
IRL, it’s a different story. It’s really certain characteristics that turn me on. Beautiful eyes or nerdy glasses, intelligent looks, a naughty smile, a nice ass, a few well-worn tattoos or piercings. I don’t know if it’s enough to define a type, but this is my type whatever the gender
Well hello! I never felt like a type before, lol.
My tastes are usually different. I like muscley men but not muscley women. I like androgynous men but not androgynous women. I like big bums on women but less so men. However, personality is really really important and trumps body type for me.
Not in the slightest. At least for me. I’m somehow into either older chubby women with body hair or younger fit smooth men. Why? No idea, ask my dick.
Are long-term master/slave dynamics common in the gay community?
After pooping, do you clean the folds, wash and forget or don’t even bother cleaning after?
I try to bidet if I can. If I can’t I wipe as much as possible (within a reasonable time) but I feel the need shower or wash because I get itchy
That’s called swamp ass. it’s because your technique is off. you’re supposed to wipe in small circles, each going deeper into the ass. not superficial straight wipes.
Did you know that the US is the only 1st world country where people generally don’t power wash their asshole after a shit?
Did you know that the US is the only 1st world country where people generally don’t power wash their asshole after a shit?
This is not true. I’m from the Netherlands and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bidet here. They’re also uncommon in the UK, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Poland, etc…
They’re more common in Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, Greece and Turkey.
Or you’re joking about something and I’m not picking up on it.
They’re sadly vanishing in France because people no longer can spare the space to put them.
. you’re supposed to wipe in small circles, each going deeper into the ass. not superficial straight wipes.
I need to try this. Do most people wipe like this? Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life
Yes. it takes practice because for most of us when something is pushed into the starfish the first instinct is to clench up. The first two wipes should be superficial lines, with a J scooping motion, barely grazing the hole. This allows release of any dingleberries without smearing them onto the asshole. After this, wipes should be circular, starting gently on the surface. When a wipe comes clean, then next circular wipe should have a bit more push into the bung hole. You might notice that what you thought was a clean asshole isn’t really so clean once you get in there. You don’t need to ram the toilet paper up your arse, but by the end wipes you should be about a fingernail’s length in. It takes practice because you have to consciously relax your asshole while doing it. Once a deep circular wipe comes clean, try one more circling in the opposite direction. You’ll find your ass happy and non-itchy. Nothing beats a shower, but this is the best process short of that.
Thank you fellow Lemmy person. I would give your response two thumbs up, but one is occupied at the moment ☺️
Clean the folds? Of asshole?
I don’t know if this is inappropriate or not, but I always wondered if it’s possible to have a good LTR after having passionate sex on the first date?
Why are some men good at communicating while others view it as weakness and are more Stoic whilst interacting?
I think it’s very possible to have a good LTR after having passionate sex on the first date. I know people say to make the guy wait to weed out guys just looking to score.
And you have to blame the right and people like Andrew Tate for men not communicating or opening up. They tell men they are not supposed to.
I know several happily married couples with kids and everything, that started as friends with benefits or even just sex. As in basically sex before the first date. So yeah, totally possible.
For your second question, the easy answer is that it’s how they were taught they are supposed to be. On purpose or not. Maybe both parents didn’t like talking about emotions with “a boy” or with anyone, and now they are not used to it and barely have the language to talk about it. Or maybe something made them believe that their emotions are unusual, weird or even wrong, and choose not to share. I guess it’s very individual.
I never waited for sex, my feeling is that I want a man who likes sex, not a man who is into “the chase”, and I value sexual chemistry, and feel the physical intimacy is the shallower level of intimacy. It certainly has not prevented me from finding good long term guys, no. I had one 20 year run, and have been with my husband for about 12 years now.
I guess I am way more interested in weeding out those guys who like the buildup better than sex, because they are the ones who lose interest after you have sex, or who think the first time is the best.
Sissys: what pronouns work for you? I’m never sure. Is there even a right answer to that?
I suspect that femboys are mainly happy with male pronouns and I’m confident about how it works with trans folk.
what pronouns work for you?
The answer to that question, regardless of who you’re talking about is always the same. Just ask the person. There’s no overarching answer to this besides that because everyone is different.
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i encounter this when having a severe case of blue balls. feels like i need to go to the toilet, but i dont. also cumming doesnt immediatly help in this state, for me it gets a little worse and then better after a while.
but maybe its something totally different
The mens equivalent of the kegel muscles will engage you lower abdominal muscles when you strongly contract them. This usually only happens when the pelvic floor is pretty weak and/or the person isn’t very on tune with what their body is doing. It could also have been his sexual form and body movement during the act.
Regarding your last point, exercise in general tends to stimulate the bowels to move.
Never happened to me. I would talk to a doctor.
I’ve never had that happen. It does happen with blue balls on occasion. But ya know, I have hands and can take care of myself if need be, so don’t let guys use that as a pressure tactic.
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