My read is that they are saying the doctor should have said “it is your choice”. Instead, the doctor said “it needs to be up to your future husband”. This is worse than the FUD about why their future husband would not like it.
How so? If I were considering a vasectomy, I would expect to be told that it may be an issue for my future wife. I would take issue if I were told that such a decision should be left to her, and not mine to make.
The gynecologist didn’t tell her it “may be an issue for her future husband”. The gynecologist “told her the choice should be up to her future husband.” That sounds a lot like something you would take issue with:
I would take issue if I were told that such a decision [vasectomy] should be left to her [my future wife], and not mine to make.
However by the logic in your first comment, we could say that being told the decision should be up to your future wife is a lot more benign than a urologist denying you your autonomy (ie, only your future wife can authorize your vasectomy). Because that’s a relevant comparison with which to evaluate a Canadian healthcare experience /s
You seem to have misinterpreted my posts. Informed decisions are ok, but someone else making that decision is not. It’s not sexist, because it works exactly the same if the roles are reversed.
Thank you for making this comment. The issue here isn’t having or not having reproductive autonomy (ie, being able to decide for oneself whether to have tubal litigation or vasectomy). The issue is having or not having one’s reproductive autonomy respected by their healthcare provider during a healthcare encounter.
This is a HCP not respecting a patient’s reproductive autonomy:
“(the) gynecologist told her the choice should be up to her future husband”.
To me the sexist part is that some doctors will treat a man asking for a vasectomy vs a woman asking for a ligature differently?
Oh you want a vasectomy? Let’s get into my office. 10 minutes later and its done. No fuss, no speech.
Oh you want a ligature? But your potential partner might want kids, it would be unfair… 🙄
I’m sure most wishes to do no harm and want to ensure their patients are well-informed and can weight the consequences of that choice (which in itself is a good thing), but they should offer the same level of inquiry to both to be fair, not just assume that a man knows more that they don’t want kids compared to a woman.
That’s frustrating. If they refuse to do it, they should at least have to provide a referral to another doctor who will handle it if their beliefs get in the way.
If their beliefs get in the way, they need to find another profession. This is pretty well established across the entire industry.
You must provide the same level of care for a pregnant teen, a smoker dying of lung cancer, or a neo Nazi. It doesn’t matter how their lifestyle offends you.
A friend of mine went to get a vasectomy after his second kid was born and the doctor either talked him out of it or refused. He now has a 3rd kid and went to a different doctor.
I asked for a Vasectomy. The doctor went through the: have you been married, do you have kids, how many? questions. it is standard here to ensure the patient has thought about the consequences in case it can’t be reversed.
You’re absolutely right. Such procedures should be treated the same, as much as is appropriate. (vasectomies are a much more minor procedure, so things like recovery support would be different)
The headline kinda buries the lede. From the article, “(the) gynecologist told her the choice should be up to her future husband”.
A discussion about potential regrets is a lot more benign than denying her autonomy.
Subtle sexist comment right here folks.
Real question, why do you say that?
My read is that they are saying the doctor should have said “it is your choice”. Instead, the doctor said “it needs to be up to your future husband”. This is worse than the FUD about why their future husband would not like it.
Where is the sexism?
You and me both, where?
I have read that comment a few times. I can’t see the sexism anywhere.
How so? If I were considering a vasectomy, I would expect to be told that it may be an issue for my future wife. I would take issue if I were told that such a decision should be left to her, and not mine to make.
The gynecologist didn’t tell her it “may be an issue for her future husband”. The gynecologist “told her the choice should be up to her future husband.” That sounds a lot like something you would take issue with:
However by the logic in your first comment, we could say that being told the decision should be up to your future wife is a lot more benign than a urologist denying you your autonomy (ie, only your future wife can authorize your vasectomy). Because that’s a relevant comparison with which to evaluate a Canadian healthcare experience /s
You seem to have misinterpreted my posts. Informed decisions are ok, but someone else making that decision is not. It’s not sexist, because it works exactly the same if the roles are reversed.
Thank you for making this comment. The issue here isn’t having or not having reproductive autonomy (ie, being able to decide for oneself whether to have tubal litigation or vasectomy). The issue is having or not having one’s reproductive autonomy respected by their healthcare provider during a healthcare encounter.
This is a HCP not respecting a patient’s reproductive autonomy:
To me the sexist part is that some doctors will treat a man asking for a vasectomy vs a woman asking for a ligature differently?
Oh you want a vasectomy? Let’s get into my office. 10 minutes later and its done. No fuss, no speech.
Oh you want a ligature? But your potential partner might want kids, it would be unfair… 🙄
I’m sure most wishes to do no harm and want to ensure their patients are well-informed and can weight the consequences of that choice (which in itself is a good thing), but they should offer the same level of inquiry to both to be fair, not just assume that a man knows more that they don’t want kids compared to a woman.
I’m a man and my family doctor just refused saying I will regret it later. She said it would be different if I was over 40. I was 33 at the time.
That’s frustrating. If they refuse to do it, they should at least have to provide a referral to another doctor who will handle it if their beliefs get in the way.
If their beliefs get in the way, they need to find another profession. This is pretty well established across the entire industry.
You must provide the same level of care for a pregnant teen, a smoker dying of lung cancer, or a neo Nazi. It doesn’t matter how their lifestyle offends you.
What part of the world was this?
In Canada, Quebec
I don’t go see her anymore, I’d rather not have a family doctor than this stupid doctor.
A friend of mine went to get a vasectomy after his second kid was born and the doctor either talked him out of it or refused. He now has a 3rd kid and went to a different doctor.
I asked for a Vasectomy. The doctor went through the: have you been married, do you have kids, how many? questions. it is standard here to ensure the patient has thought about the consequences in case it can’t be reversed.
You’re absolutely right. Such procedures should be treated the same, as much as is appropriate. (vasectomies are a much more minor procedure, so things like recovery support would be different)
There is a pattern of abuse (like the example you for some reason try to soft peddle), it isn’t just one instance.
I love that on Lemmy, people will trip over themselves to misinterpret simple, unambiguous comments such as yours.