- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
Tesla, a future case study for securities law classes across America, had to stop delivering Cybertrucks this past weekend. No, not because the hundred-thousand–dollar medium-duty pickup, which is only any of those things in the loosest interpretive sense, tends to brick when it gets rained on; nor because its stainless steel panels get all rusty and nasty-looking after weeks exposed to the rare, harsh condition of “being outside.” Perhaps you think it has something to do with the shorter-than-advertised driving range and longer-than-advertised charging time, but no: Rather, the cause of this snag is that the trucks struggle with the basics of stopping and going, by which I mean that the accelerator pedal cover slides off and gets stuck under a panel and locks the accelerator pressed down and keeps the Cybertruck stuck at maximum velocity.
Other Tesla models have had issues with speeding up and slowing down at the wrong times. The company was sued in 2017 by drivers whose cars drove themselves unexpectedly through garages and into walls; a German paper reported last year on over 2,400 complaints about sudden braking problems; and a safety researcher published a white paper showing how voltage spikes could lead Teslas to speed up without warning. You are supposed to like this because it means you are on the cutting edge, helping Elon Musk in his quest to save humanity.
Suckers who ordered Cybertrucks a few months or years ago and expected deliveries this weekend did not get their cars, nor a precise explanation for why they did not get their cars, but instead were simply told, “Hi, we have just been informed of an unexpected delay regarding the preparation of your vehicle. We need to cancel your delivery appointment for tomorrow and we will reach out again when we’re able to get you back on the schedule.” Maybe someone with a hot glue gun will get on this one.
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I saw one in the wild the first time a couple weeks ago on an interstate. It looks so fucking dumb in person. The pictures don’t do it justice of how insanely stupid looking it is.
I finally saw one in person, and this is so true. It’s like a kindergartner was told to draw a picture of a truck and then made it in real life.
I saw one in person too, it’s like a car that didn’t load in properly. It was a running joke in my class as we all had to pass that stupid brick to get to our class.
I compare to a kindergartner drawing a house and then said, fuck it, it’s a truck and put wheels on it.
Elon probably did do that and told his engineers to make it.
And that is not because it doesn’t already look insanely stupid in pictures.
I really can’t imagine it looking even dumber in person. I hope i never have to see one tho
I’ve seen like 4 or 5 so far (Bay Area). It ALWAYS catches my eye how stark and stupid they look.
I have seen a total of one in the wild. It was -painted black-. Hard to comprehend the mindset.
It was most likely wrapped in vinyl.
Unfortunately for the owners, it’s not just for vanity, see (literally), handprints, rust, and “surface contamination” all but requiring getting some sort of protective skin, wrap, iPhone case or whatever installed as soon as you get it to prevent damage/maintenance. Oh good thing ol tessy sells a factory wrap.
Tesla wasn’t always like this. Something changed. Somewhere a load-bearing corner was cut and it’s been shit ever since.
I think the load-bearing corner was the original founders, and the shit that replaced it is Elon Musk.
Yup, he swooped in, took all the credit, and then bullied all the talent out of the company.
He did the same thing to twitter, but faster to that company.
I thought it was the Onion, haha
c/nottheonion
I saw one in person in Akron. The kids made fun of it.
I saw two of them this weekend. One of them was painted a bright, bright green, which managed to make it even uglier. When we were driving on the freeway next to the first one, my first thought was it looked like a vehicle from one of those cheap 70s or 80s sci-fi movies where they make some “futuristic” car by putting a shell on a regular car and you can tell that the suspension wasn’t modified to handle it, so it drives like shit and looks stupid.
I feel like the mohawked futurists of Mad Max would take a look at one and just shit themselve laughing before crushing one like an aluminium can
Bypass the subscription wall: https://archive.is/XntJn
Thanks, site is cancer.
Why would you pay that much money just to be made fun of. Owning a Tesla is bad enough, but a cybertruck is just begging for ridicule.
You don’t own a Tesla , you lease the software to keep it running.
Dire straits money for nothing lookin ass car. Fuck that thing.
excellent headline is excellent and made me lol fr
I just really hope the 7,000lb steel truck doesn’t crush someone to death. What a fucking awful design.
Unless it’s their owner and then no one of value would be lost
Well, that’s the other thing. The Cybertruck has NO crumple zones, meaning in the event of a crash all of that energy is going into the passengers. I feel like at best you’d be lucky to get out with severe whiplash.
Still, I’m more concerned about someone being flattened or worse, used for nefarious purposes. If anyone regrettably remembers when some peaceful protestors disrupting freeway traffic had a giant truck driving through them (not the Semi in Minneapolis but the regular Large Truck owner driving through an abortion rally protest, hitting 2 people).
I knew it was a trash site just from the title
Lmaooooo
Thanks for giving me another site to add to leechblock :)
Ahhh yes, that time tested tactic of shooting the messenger. No amount of website blocking is going to get around the fact the cybertruck is terrible.
Why is it terrible?
Have you driven one?
Ahh yes, they’re halting deliveries again because everything is so peachy. This article lists a whole lot of reasons why, and reasons I’ve read from other sources. Read the fucking article.
it’s a truck. that alone makes it terrible.
We found the guy with the softest hands everyone!
Hi I’m a machinist and fabricator that likes hunting and lives in the south. Trucks are terrible. You should need proof that you need one to own one.
Ooooh, I really hope he replies to this one.
I think we won’t be so lucky. :(
What do you mean?
Stop deepthroating Felon Musk.
“Why is this person getting slammed so hard”
^
“Oh.”
Its true thats its a trash site but the fact remains. Tesla cars are big pieces of shit.
If you use reader mode you can get around that…
And find you could’ve read the article in the same time as that…
No. I just block sites from ever appearing again if they force you to create an account or if it is behind s pay wall.
Leechblock best add-on eva
So you’re the kinda guy that wouldn’t pay for a newspaper, but would rely on people handing out free flyers and propaganda?
Well done, you fucked yourself 😂
Excuse me, its 1992 calling, can you send our newspapers back?
I’m saying, learn how to bypass paywalls. That’s where the true journalism is
Anything free is free for a reason
Educate yourself
Be careful who you tell to educate themselves, it just might be someone who refuses to even read points that are incongruous with their own.
Y’know, the type of person who reads a title, decides they hate the whole site because of the title, and then proceeds to blame the hate on something both completely unrelated AND totally fixable with minimal effort. Like, I dunno, a paywall?
I know how to, but I refuse unless it is THE ONLY SOURCE of some very important info (99% of the time it isn’t)
As the Bay Area is both a nexus for world-class goobers and the region where Tesla used to be and kinda-sorta still is headquartered, I have seen a lot of Cybertrucks out in the wild over the past few months. They are remarkably fake- and shitty-looking in any context (Is that a big toaster with wi-fi next to me at the exit? Who’s driving the scrap metal assemblage with Bryan Colangelo-esque proportions? Why does every Cybertruck driver I glance at appear to be simultaneously peacocking for attention but also totally embarrassed, haunted by the unexamined knowledge that as a maneuver in a culture war they paid $100,000 for a car that doesn’t work?)
The ghost of John Deloreon is laughing.
I love unbiased journalism! Lmao, I know it’s a blog / opinion piece but still, at least consider why people buy them. This just reads like a boo Elon circle jerk.
It is an opinion piece and I’m not gonna pretend it’s not heavily biased, but why shouldn’t it be? What are the reasons to own a Cybertruck when the whole intent of the product feels like a pro-Elon circlejerk?
I’m an average consumer and shall we say, an Elon-disdainer. I don’t like the man, though I have better things to do with my time than actively hate him. At first glance, it does not appear to even be a truck. It’s wild and awful looking, it doesn’t sell itself at all on the visuals alone so it had better have killer features. Which are … ?
Look, when you show up to my potluck with a literal crockpot full of shit, I don’t feel the need to entertain you. “Is that literal shit?” I ask. “It’s my grandmother’s recipe!” you reply. “Well that may be, but is it literal shit? In a crockpot? Cooking all day?” “You haven’t even tried it!”
I don’t know why I have to justify not eating shit. Coming up with reasons not to blindly consume transparently bad products was not a position I felt I’d ever need to reason myself out of.
EDIT: sorry if that came off sounding too critical of you, I don’t mean to attack you personally. But the shape of this discussion is a thorn in my side that sits at a particular junction between how we choose to see biases in media and modern consumerism and I think it warrants further investigation.
Elon seems like a douche. So I think we’re on the same page there. But if we’re calling the Cybertruck literal shit, then we’ve lost the meaning of the word. The product seems to have some crappy flaws. But it is a first gen of a radical new idea. I personally really like finally seeing some innovation when it comes to automotives. It feels like no one’s really tried to make a big change up in decades. Everything on the street is the same concept in 4 different shapes. Every now and then they add a no-brainer feature like Bluetooth and that’s it. The Cybertruck looks like a totally unique new electric pickup built with stainless steel, a 4-wheel steering system, and steel rolling bed cover. I don’t see a reason to buy it myself, but I get why someone would. And I’m really happy that someone is trying something new in a stagnant market.
If the product is shitty, then by all means call it out. But I think understanding why some people are excited for it is worthwhile. No one is asking you to eat this particular “shit soup.”
Radical new ideas like a pedal you push with your foot to accelerate it?
Geo cube, pt cruiser, smart car… All of these had radical shapes without forgetting how to make a gas pedal. There have been several vehicles which have used novel composite body materials. There certainly have been other vehicles, even trucks with 4 wheel steering. While these might be new FOR TESLA, they aren’t new. Tesla already makes other electric vehicles, that’s not only not new, it isn’t new FOR THEM.
Geo cube, pt cruiser, smart car… All of these had radical shape
DeLorean (minus the cocaine… Maybe?) for the stainless steel…
I like how two of your examples were similar cube like cars which themselves have been around forever
The PT Cruiser is literally a retro design
I’m all for criticizing Cybertruck. People need to know the shortcomings. Especially if there’s dangerous issues. But like, I appreciate one of these wacky concept cars actually being released.
At first glance, it does not appear to even be a truck.
I think this is actually it’s biggest selling point. Over the last couple of decades, trucks have really all converged on the same styling. They all look tall, brawny, hyper-masculine. The cyber truck isn’t going to appeal to someone that wants an F150, but it will appeal to someone that wants some F150 functionality without all the truck bro image. I wouldn’t ever want one, but I get it.
It goes fast when you hit the faulty accelerator and the battery is full. And… Yea that’s about it.
Back in the day people just called that “making fun of” or “ridicule”. It’s not trying to be journalism, it’s trying to be flippant and chaudenfreudic.
Looking like a big piece of shit would be a hint to most people
