May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you’re too busy (or poor) to eat!
Water, like from the toilet?
Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
You live somewhere where water just falls from the sky for free?
Can’t afford Brandow.
Also sh.itjust.works !
I’ll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.
Bottoms up.
On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
Who hurt you
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Does it though?
You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can’t bottle up all that fresh mone–I mean, water, up and help the free market!
My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.
Are you my kid?
Hey, empty the dishwasher.
Maybe he’s my kid. We should do a DNA test.
It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.
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Ok, you have to try them with President brand butter. It’s a cultured butter from France. It’s the most buttery tasting butter my tastebuds have ever tasted. It’s all I buy now.
I’ve seen it at Publix and Walmart. If you can find it give it a try. It’s better than Kerrygold.
It’s better than Kerrygold.
I like how you threw this out there expecting all of us to be butter connoisseurs.
Hey. People that know butter know kerrygold. Stating that it’s better than kerrygold is a bold claim.
You’re now a proto-butter-connoisseur
It may be a few days, it may be a few weeks, but you’re going to be walking past the dairy section in the supermarket and the golden oblong that is Kerrygold is going to call out to you.
That said, if you can get lurpak over there, I think I prefer it to Kerrygold personally
Plugra master race
My Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha
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My grandma taught me to wash and reuse ziplock bags.
I know I sound disgusting, but sometimes I eat saltines and straight up dip them in/scoop up butter like it’s a dip. It’s good.
I do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.
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That’s basically a Ritz but simpler.
I used to eat white rice with butter. Add salt or sugar depending on mood.
It goes great with chicken soup!
It was difficult for me to not downvote this comment haha
For the disgust or an implied perception I think it’s gross? 🤔
FWIW: I don’t dislike it; but I prefer PB.
My personal disgust. It’s probably not as bad as I think though, in fact I’m hungry right now and it doesn’t sound nearly as bad.
I mean, American butter or European?
Europe has their own butter too?
You ferment the milk before making butter. Very good. You’re basically making it out of yogurt or sour cream.
Yea essentially the requirements to call a product ‘butter’ are stricter in Europe and American butter can have a higher water content / lower fat content than European butter. Check out this video for more info: https://youtu.be/gBfFpSMvstU
That doesn’t sound bad.
I used to do this, but between a pair of saltines and with margarine rather than butter.
I never claimed to be healthy.
Man… I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.
I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I’m not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
I’ll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I’ve done. One day it’s gonna catch up to me and I’m gonna be the next person on my 600lb life
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I ate that all the time growing up, also did that with Ritz crackers. Had no idea it was because poor 😓
Damn look at this fat cat over here being able to afford Ritz. Us plebs get to share a singular saltine for the week. We used to take turns licking the salt off for dinner and had the soggy biscuit for breakfast the following morning.
On a serious note though, I feel ya. Hopefully your doing better as an adult. ♥️
Look at this fat cat capitalist with a table. We use to take turns breathing inside McDonalds just to get a whiff of nutrients.
Look at Bill Gates over here. We couldn’t even afford nothing. We always had something and it was dreadful
Ooh lah de dah Elon Musk here with his something. We had to live in a perfect vacuum and hope a quark would pop into existence out of the quantum foam so we could eat it. And we were expected to like it that way.
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I’ve never thought of having jam too. I used to eat them with just peanut butter all the time.
Nostagia
Image Transcription:
An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
good human
Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.
Those are just “ines”
It’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills
It’s basically wallpaper paste.
My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….
A lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.
That’s really not good for cats iirc; I think they’re super sensitive to salt
Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.
I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.
I too love sleeve of saltines.
Usually with cheese.
My dad used to melt cheese and put salami on these and we would dip it in marinara. He called it poor mans pizza.
Ngl, that sounds delicious. Might try this with some salada biscuits (can’t get saltines round here) or something one day.
It honestly works with any type of cracker. I’ve even done it with Melba toast.
When I was in college I would make toast, put sauce and cheese on it, then microwave. We called it poor man’s pizza.
Add some cheeses, meats, fruits, and veggies and you have a bomb ass snack tray
Nah, ritz for that. Butter is a completely different story though. Especially when sick.
Club crackers over Ritz for sliced cheese, IMO.
But honestly, saltines with cheese are amazing. Especially if you have some milk.
I would much rather…drink 3 beers!
Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!
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I can see that now, that’s too funny 😁
I gotta do better on the print preview 👍
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Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!
nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
It sounds so easy. I don’t understand why I can’t do it.
I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.
my gramma only ever had zesta, too. but always stored in a (now antique, i’m sure) metal nabisco premium tin.
Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!
Oh man I’m not good at thyroid gland plz to halp
