votey
No clue what a votey is but I got called out for not including it, so here it be.
I often thought that with all the trouble the Borg go through fighting all the resistance and wars and stuff they could instead just go around asking for volunteers.
Throughout the galaxy they could probably build a decent population this way, and it’s much lower risk.
Well let’s see:
- No student loans
- Get to work on the biggest projects
- Meet new people all the time
- Get to explore and experience new cultures, lots of travel
- Get to spend my days with my 10 million closest friends in the universe
- Never worry about who the president is
- Retirement isn’t an issue I have to concern myself with
- Be part of a team, you know?
- Also freaken robot arm
- Never have to hear about a sports ball game or a celebrity saying something problematic again
Downsides with rebuttals
- No individuality? I don’t really get that as it stands
- Chaffing from implants? Well I am sure they have a cream for that.
- Don’t get to live in a democracy? I don’t live in one now, I live in a Republic where my vote doesnt matter that has like one election left. What could be more democratic than a collective mind?
- Live in a giant metal cube with no privacy? I work in a plastic carpeted cube and have to wear headphones to get any work done.
I was on the fence, but the clarity about the chaffing cream has sold me
I think it is in the nanobot welcome packet.
Sounds like you have already been assimilated
My brother in Borg have you heard the good news?
“Happy Monday Team! Resistance is futile!” - good morning message in most corporate offices, probably.
I assume this will just be downloaded directly into the brain.
Borg Jesus has returned?
Yes, and he was assimilated. His biological and technological distinctiveness was added to our own.
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The “poking holes in my face” frame has had me laughing for five minutes
Silly lady. She just needs nanoprobes. Sometimes. Depending on which Star Trek episode and series you’re talking about.
Gouging your eye out and tearing open a new hole just makes the assimilation process that much faster … we want out of this reality and into the new one, whatever it is, as fast as possible.
Its a totally normal thing normal people do
I dont like how many times you said “normal” there…
I AM JUST BEING NORMAL OK? I AM A NORMAL PERSON DOING NORMAL THINGS NORMALLY.
Reminder that it is an internet crime to post an smbc strip without the votey, just as it is a crime to post an xkcd without the alt text.
Is there a reason people aren’t just linking directly to the comic page? I’m sure the artist would appreciate it.
Added to the post, thanks. A friend sent it to me, I got a chuckle, then I posted here. I made sure the credits weren’t cropped out (because that’s a thing apparently) but didn’t go further than that. No malice intended on my part.
Agreed, OP should have in hindsight so should I since OP didn’t- it’s insufficient on its own (newbies won’t know how to see the votey) for my purpose, but it is basic decency/respect. My apologies.
My headcanon is that whatever planet the Borg originally came from augmented themselves willingly for similar reasons, then things went horribly wrong.
In fact, I think that the first years of the Borg was them being totally in control of their enhancements and going from planet to planet asking people to join their collective.
The planets that politely refused were revisited several years later by Borg who were a lot more forceful about it.
Isn’t the Borg suppose to the Federation taken to an extreme? That’s not an out there Borg origin theory.
My understanding is that when they got to the point of “becoming the Borg” from, whatever they were before, they essentially unanimously decided that this is better, more perfect, more efficient, clearly, this is the best path forward for everyone. Anyone who refuses simply does not understand how great and efficient it can be to be (what would become) Borg, so for their own good, we must assimilate them.
We see parallels with that in current society. One example I have sufficient knowledge of in order to cite, is the mistreatment of native Americans. The settlers started by trading with the tribes, which would have been fine if the trades were not, almost consistently done in bad faith. Later, the colonizers annexed their land, with a kind of perspective on it, like, you’re not using this land (or not making very good use of it) and we know how to make the land more useful, so give it to us, or we’ll take it.
Much later, native children were stolen from their homes and forced to attend schools “for their own good”. Giving them information, but not necessarily something useful for their life in the tribe, just what will be useful for them living in a “better” society (the colonizers society). I’ve even seen entire reserves where their whole way of life has become a footnote, after colonizers swooped in, and built homes, which they couldn’t maintain, with power, that they don’t know how to manage, and plumbing, etc. Basically turning the entire reserve into a slum.
In essence, colonizers came in, said “we know what’s best (for you)” and shoved it down their throats whether they wanted any help or not. We are the Borg, resistance is futile. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own… You will learn like we learn, and what we learn, you will live as we live, you will do as we do… or else.
If they weren’t so agressive about it, I bet there would be some who would join voluntarily
The blissful serenity of the buzzing hive.
i’d have gotten Borged for Hugh ;)
edit: or as Worf put it: Assssimmilated
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You think you wont have to work? HA
