• Flying Squid
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    551 year ago

    I’m not sure whether or not this was supposed to be a joke post, but I recently had a colonoscopy, and everyone was super nice and fully aware that this was an embarrassing procedure, so they did their best to make it as pleasant as you can be in a surgical waiting area.

    • @[email protected]
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      1 year ago

      I felt myself falling asleep, then seemingly immediately blink awake. I said, “Doc, I don’t think the anesthesia is working,” and he said, “Ha, no man, we’re done.”

      Like you said, the prep was the worst part. There is no joy in daily living without food.

      • @[email protected]
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        51 year ago

        Same here. I’ve been put under twice and both times it basically just felt like a longer than normal blink and I felt a little slow afterwords.

        • @[email protected]
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          71 year ago

          a longer than normal blink and I felt a little slow afterwords.

          writes on notepad Patient reports heightened self-awareness following procedure.

      • @[email protected]
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        11 year ago

        I woke up in the middle of mine, got to watch the second half. Was interesting, but it probably helps to still be under the after effects ify the anyways. But definitely, there prep is worse than the actual procedure.

    • @[email protected]
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      101 year ago

      Mine too! Then i said, “It wasn’t that bad. I can’t believe i stressed over it for so long,” and he said, “Yep! You should have come in 32 years ago.” And that was the most uncomfortable part of it.

      • Flying Squid
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        71 year ago

        The prep was awful. That was the part I really hated. Being so damn hungry.

    • @[email protected]
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      81 year ago

      I work in Radiology, and have to do Barium enemas, frequently. As much as we love the humor, we strive to keep it medical, with patients. We all know it sucks, can feel embarrassing, etc, but we’re just trying to get the job done with the best pictures. Your physical body is kind of secondary to what our goal is.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 year ago

        Does it help if you say its Very Berry Barium?

        (I think Very Berry Beryllium alliterates better)

        • @[email protected]
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          31 year ago

          I’ve got a feeling they won’t know what flavor it is, but I might start asking patients what flavor they want, from now on. Thanks for the idea!

    • @[email protected]OP
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      1 year ago

      It was both a joke and my real life. I hope I have a similar experience. I’m a virgin after all… for this anyway.

    • @[email protected]
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      161 year ago

      Alternatively.

      “If you happen to see a Standing Liberty silver dollar from 1885 while you’re spelunking, I’ve absolutely no idea how it got there. But could you try to get it out?”

  • @[email protected]
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    271 year ago

    “After this can you write a note for my wife to tell her my head is not, in fact, up my ass?”

  • @[email protected]
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    151 year ago

    With your rectum. The man sees you crush a piece of ice with that sphincter, you command some respect for the rest of the procedure.

  • @[email protected]
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    151 year ago

    You’re going to want to avoid looking like a huge ass. I’d avoid jokes that shit on their career choice.

  • teft
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    151 year ago

    Put a joke on a post it note and place it between your butt cheeks.

  • @[email protected]
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    151 year ago

    I had to get my ass checked and the doctor was surprised at my lack of shame or discomfort with it. When it was over he said “don’t come back just for this okay?”

  • @[email protected]
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    101 year ago

    Stick a lightbulb in your butt. There’s a good episode of scrubs they can watch if they don’t know how to get it out.

  • @[email protected]
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    61 year ago

    Colonoscopy is easy, it’s endoscopy that felt like near dear experience (I didn’t take the sedative= fail). Worth it though. Also the Dr’s and techs were far to busy talking about the next hairpin bend like they were rally driving. The satnav on the screen shows how far the scope has gone, I shit you not it really looks like the old Nokia snake gane. And when you have nitrous gas it all becomes very funny.

    • @[email protected]
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      21 year ago

      I once woke up during an upper endoscopy. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. The anesthesiologist noticed pretty fast though and put me back out.

      • @[email protected]
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        21 year ago

        Ouch. I did the whole thing without anaesthetic, but didn’t want to. I can’t stand needles but thought I would have gas+air for the upper endoscopy! (only gave me gas for the Colonoscopy, but it felt nice to get high after being choked with the snake torch).

        But holy shit it was terrifying, never doing that again.