At this point I’m going to Ladbrokes and betting against everything Kotaku promotes. They are like Jim Cramer of the gaming industry.
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I had a conversation with my sister about that recently.
The amount of shows and movies that have $100,000,000+ budgets is rising, yet more and more of them feature very limited sets, small casts of mostly mid range talent, and a dozen executive producers all putting up their own money (this is all especially prominent with big shows on streaming networks, cough Star Trek cough The Acolyte)
Here’s my comparison: a group of 10 investors come out and announce they’re spending a billion dollars to develop a new luxury car. They drum it up as being the next big thing. Then, when it comes out, it’s about as nice and luxurious as a base model Toyota Camry. Fine, but not “a billion dollars” fine. Immediately, everyone would be wondering where the hell that money went? There’s definitely a chance it was just squandered, but you have to wonder. When you have a group of private investors with executive power over the project, what goes on behind closed doors?
For all we know, they’re literally just passing massive checks in a circle to one another to say “yes, it says right here in our bank records that we spent a combined $100,000,000”, meanwhile only 25% actually goes into the production, and they pocket the rest. Then, when the flock of people have to come and check out the new megaproject, all they need to recoup is a few million more than they spent (far less than the perceived budget), and they can run for the hills.
Anywho, crackpot theory time over. But think about it, if my simple brain can think this stuff up, why can’t the hollywood bigwigs, who actually have the capital to make it happen?
It gets better, because all the money they “lost” on a movie they can also write off. Oops, we didn’t make any money this year because we put out 10 billion dollar movies and only made 10 million at the box office. Tax break please!
This specifically is a bit of an open secret afaik. There are a few semi prominent examples of big studios pouring a bunch of money into junk, not advertising it or just skipping theatres entirely, then watching it sink.
For all we know, they’re literally just passing massive checks in a circle to one another to say “yes, it says right here in our bank records that we spent a combined $100,000,000”, meanwhile only 25% actually goes into the production, and they pocket the rest.
That would be illegal and easily discovered
But you could pay $10M to hire another company to do the sound mixing. They might spend $500k to do the work. You might also be the owner of that company, and the money ends up back in your pocket…And that’s not embezzlement or a kickback, because that’s what it’s called when poor people do it
Good point, I shouldn’t have used the world ‘literally.’ I was just trying to make the point that there are plenty of creative ways where tremendous amounts of money could end up back in someones pocket when by all means it should have gone elsewhere.
And yes, your example is perfectly believable and I wouldn’t at all be shocked if that kind of thing happened frequently.
What the fuck are you talking about?
The most frustrating thing about this article is that it completely ignores that good movies targeted at kids still have to be good. Personal complaints aside, the new Mario movie was reasonably good for adults and great for kids. Pixar keeps churning out things that are fantastic on many levels. Bluey is an amazing show that can resonate with kids and parents. I don’t for a minute buy the elitist bullshit of “well you’re not a kid so you can’t comment.” Muppet Treasure Island holds the fuck up as an adult so this writer can fuck right off.
What’s also weird is Minecraft is 15 years old at this point. That means you’ve basically got a huge age range (kids to adults) within the target audience. Why isn’t it targeted at the entire fanbase?
Adults were fans of Minecraft when it came out since there was really no other sandbox game like it at the time. There were precious few sandbox games at the time period.
Oh yeah, I don’t disagree it has had a large following since it released. I was just highlighting that even if a majority of the player base was 5-15 on release, they’d be 20-30 now. So why target just kids.
Sorry, we were in agreement. I’m saying there was always an adult market so you’re right.
Why isn’t it targeted at the entire fanbase?
Is that a serious question? Because the answer is obvious…
Ok, let me start out by saying I have an 8 year old, and he fucking loves Minecraft. And hey, I played the game a bunch back when it was in beta and I was like 25. But I did not love the game the way that he loves the game… He’s obsessive about Minecraft, some days it’s all he talks about. How many adults do you know like that?
And here’s the real question, when’s the last time you bought Minecraft merch for yourself? Because my kid has a Minecraft lunchbox, a Minecraft hoody, a Minecraft Lego set, some Minecraft figurines, and of course the Minecraft sheets and PJs.
Hahaha fair point
“The Writer” is most likely chatgpt. Pretty sure most of these low effort shit gaming/movie articles are AI written at this point.
I never watched any of those shows, but I remember watching SpongeBob and seeing how it was full of many types of humor, some of it adult but also presented in a way that kids just wouldn’t understand. So there was “something for everyone” and part of why it was so popular/successful.
Yes a thousand percent. You can entertain young children by showing a dancing clown on a colorful flashing screen for 3 hours straight. Kids will love it. But that doesn’t make it a good movie.
A good kids movie is not a movie that appeals to kids. It’s a good movie that also appeals to kids.
Personal complaints aside, the new Mario movie was reasonably good for adults and great for kids.
It was mid, until Jack Black’s Bowser hit the screen, and then it was top notch. He absolutely carried that film.
Hear hear. Soul was a great movie because it was fun for kids but spoke to adults. Pixar does that a lot. A good kids movie is just a good movie that’s appropriate for children. Sure you can feed kids entertainment slop and it might even make bank but if you’re trying to make a film and not just a vehicle for the line to go up then slop is not it.
I’ve been playing Minecraft off and on since the Beta. I usually play the “All the mods” packs when they launch.
I do not understand how people get so emotionally invested in an IP.
If it isn’t a good movie who cares? Just spend your time doing something else.
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And in some cases, the IP getting a shit movie or show can tell the game developers “well, time to drop the entire brand for 15 years”.
The Wing Commander and Dungeon Siege treatment.
It wouldn’t have surprised me if WOTC dropped D&D as a brand if Honor Among Thieves had flopped.
I wish they would have. They’ve treated d&d terribly.
the terrible movie ensures that a good one will never be made.
Super Mario Bros got another movie.
But generally, video games don’t usually work as movies. So it isn’t that big of a loss, lol
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I will rewatch a wasted Hoskins and Leguizamo riffing lines in the 90s mario bros forever. That movie is so terrifically bad its awesome.
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They generally don’t work as movies because no one ever follows the story that’s right in front of them. They always add some stupid artistic bullshit preference of their own which causes a huge disconnect from the source material.
Writing for games is usually different than writing for movies.
I believe this is why games tend to do well as TV series – more overlap there.
I don’t buy that. It’s possible but the producers always want to make it “theirs” and it’s not. It’ll never be theirs. The best they could do is just follow the source material as much as possible.
No one cares about your “quirky” changes. And this is quite evident in all the video game tv series that fail. Because the source material was basically thrown away completely. Because they think we’ll gobble up anything just because of the name.
I feel there’s this trend where movie directors must and shall make their own story in whatever world is in front of them, instead of trying to make a movie that would fit in the game, or simply take the game’s story and make a movie out of that.
It’s why Lord of The Ring was so fucking good (Christopher Lee/Saruman read the books every year of his life, and corrected Peter Jackson whenever necessary), whereas Rings of Power is shit (I mean, a loving Orc family? What the FUCK have they been snorting!?). It’s also why I’m hopeful to get something good out of Henry Cavill directing any 40k movie (that, or we’re getting nothing, at best. At worst someone else takes over and we’re getting female custodes for no good reason).
Idk that first Silent Hill movie is actually pretty good imo.
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Yeah, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t a great movie, but it was fun for a kids’ film, and I loved all the references and stuff.
Why do you need a Minecraft movie in your life though?
Personally, I don’t need the things I like to be cross format.
If it works as a movie, great.
If it is never made, no problem.
If it fails, meh.
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I don’t think anyone needs any movies in their life at all. People would like a minecraft movie in their lives because they like mine craft I presume.
the Borderlands movie I would have loved will never exist.
For me it’s Monster Hunter. I refuse to watch the one they made a few years ago. I wonder if there’s a supercut of only scenes that feature the monsters. Or anything involving the Charge Blade.
After reading the synopsis, why tf did they have to make it an isekai?
at least you have the excellent ‘tales from the borderlands’ to play. I like to replay that ‘movie’ every year.
I made it about as far into the Borderlands movie as i did with the monsterhunter movie, bailing after about a 3rd of the film.
Not really super popular take, but the sexual politics (as in the way the story treated women) in both were something I struggled to get past. Plus they were both goofy and not in a very fun way. I have very similar feelings about the fallout show lol, but glad you enjoyed it.
But i think i teenager might have liked borderlands
Just reiterating what others have said but… if you have an IP you like and want more of it in the future (regardless of medium!) then its success in any other medium will likely impact whether or not you get more.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where:
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Money matters more to most IP holders than the IP itself
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New IP is seen as risky
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Those in charge don’t have to take responsibility for their failures
If there is a commercial failure of an IP, there is a good chance that its failure will be seen as the IP generally failing or falling out of poluarity instead of the failure to best utilize the IP that likely occurred. As a result, priorities will often shift away from the IP to something else in all mediums (ex. ASOIAF/GOT). Unless the IP is absolutely gangbusters in all other mediums, it will suffer. Similarly, success will likely lead to more utilization of the IP in any medium.
It’s unlikely that the IP owner will sell or license the IP in the near future because at one point it was popular and new IP is hard to make. It would be better to hoard IP and maybe try again in a decade when they need a trick up their sleeve. Plus, another failure might damage the IP even more.
Admittedly, I’m not attached to any brands or IP in particular and so I’m not invested really. I just makes me a little sad when some IP I thought well of has this happen… or when the person who benefits from the IP turns out to be a person I’d rather not give money to. Occasionally I’ll ponder what might have been if things had gone differently and feel a little bad.
If there is a commercial failure of an IP, there is a good chance that its failure will be seen as the IP generally failing or falling out of poluarity instead of the failure to best utilize the IP that likely occurred.
For example, when EA released Tiberian Twilight and it was absolutely awful and didn’t sell, they said that people just didn’t want RTS games anymore and shelved the entire C&C franchise. That was fourteen years ago and we haven’t had a new C&C since then that wasn’t mobile shovelware.
Good points, well put.
This is just one of the many reasons why our current IP laws are complete and utter garbage.
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I’m not like, attending a protest rally or anything. I think it’s perfectly fine to spend literally 7 minutes of my day telling people that this movie is shit.
You “no one should ever express disagreement with anything” people need to chill.
Lol people don’t know how to build a personality that isn’t built out of stuff.
Are you guys surprised and angry that this generic movie for children isn’t for you, or am I missing some context here?
Why can’t the movie be for everyone like the game is? Why make it purposefully empty and soulless so only small children with a short attention span can enjoy it? Take some notes from the Lego movie. It’s not that hard.
For one, it is definitely easier/cheaper/faster to make that instead of a good, enjoyable movie.
im not against movies for children but why is it acceptable for things to always be easier/cheaper/faster
The mario movie was also good in my opinion. I enjoyed it and it did not feel like a cringefest at all (which I wish I could say about Minecraft’s trailer)
The idea that children don’t deserve good media is kind of wild to me.
A good movie for kids can be boring for adults sometimes.
Sure but it doesn’t have to be like that. Shrek is prime example that you can make a movie both groups enjoy
This is like comparing paintings to the Mona Lisa. Shrek is the crowning achievement of our civilization.
Agreed, Shrek is phenomenal but there’s a lot of great films proving adults and children can enjoy the same story even if for different reasons.
The Goonies
Princes Bride
Kubo And The Two Strings
Song of the Sea
The Breadwinner
That’s just from the top of my head. There’s plenty.
I didn’t say that it does, lol
I said in another comment that there’ll always be demand for lower quality kids’ media, and that’s okay. Adults don’t need to enjoy every piece of children’s media.
There’s always demand for heroin too. Demand doesn’t mean it’s good.
So there we have it. The two ends of the spectrum of movies made for children: Heroin and Shrek.
There are plenty of “kids” movies and TV that are excellent for adults, too.
Listing a few:
- Bluey
- Most of Pixar
- Adventure Time (after Season 1)
- Star Wars Rebels/Clone Wars (again, after Season 1)
- Shrek
- Star Trek: Prodigy
This is not an exhaustive list, but you get the point.
Yes, I know that. And I knew it before, too…
I guess people hopped on the downvote train before they got to the word “sometimes” in my comment, lol
No, I disagree with the “sometimes”.
I don’t follow. You’re disagreeing with the possibility than an adult would find a good children’s movie to be boring? Lol
Yes.
Sure (also I can’t think of any examples) - but than again the question becomes more complex and subjective: what is a good kids movie. But really often kids movie is used as an excuse for bad execution, art, storytelling, acting etc. - while I think kids deserve at least the same quality as adults maybe even better - since media has much more influence on children than on adults.
while I think kids deserve at least the same quality as adults maybe even better
When we start buying that kids’ media enough that it’ll bring in as much money as other demographics’ media, and we choose to buy it based on its artistic merit and quality, then we’ll see more of that change.
But I think there’s always going to be a demand for “kids’ stuff” that’s lower quality, and I think that’s okay. Adults don’t need to enjoy every piece of kids’ media that exists.
And I just disagree that kids stuff means that it should be lower quality. I think it’s just lazy. And while I understand why people are producing bad content - I don’t have to like it or applaud them for it.
I just disagree that kids stuff means that it should be lower quality
I don’t think you’re disagreeing with me, because I haven’t said that… lol
Do kids movies have to be stupid and vapid? This looks completely soulless.
Why even bother making good movies, when children also watch elsa getting spiderman pregnant?
Trust me that’s way better than what kids are watching nowadays on yt shorts. That content should seriously be investigated for permanent/temporary brain damage.
Who is out here downvoting in defense of yt shorts?
The fact that capital-G Gamers are still hell-bent on the GamerGate-era war against Kotaku is deeply amusing to me.
Gaming journos bad, something something.
Sir, this is a good Pastafarian server, pls censor that filth. The childrens eyes can’t handle the raw sewage that is the word g*mer.
This is exactly what someone who works at or has friends that work at Kotaku would say.
G*mers should have been bullied more.
It really bugs me how every scandal co-ops the -gate from the Watergate scandal to try to give it more legitimacy.
The Hotel was the Watergate Hotel. There is no gate in Kotaku or Gamer. Just another fundamental ignorance of reality the media has come to.
I’ve been scrolling through the comments to see the reaction to this trailer and this is the only comment that made me legit cringe.
Sorry but Kotaku has always been 100% garbage, either bad writing, way behind the news, or both at the same time.
Except if its labor related, they immediately remember how to write.
What does one have to do with the other? Snow white is also a story for children and yet adults can still be disappointed about the upcoming remake. Are you suggesting we can’t criticise content for kids? If yes then why?
Criticise whatever you want, but your post is just a screenshot of a headline presented without context so I’m not even sure why you’re upset
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i would personally love a Portal movie going into all the lore, since there isn’t too much of that in the games. IDK, call it Portal 3? lol
You don’t think House of the Dead was a cinematic masterpiece? Tsk tsk! Poor taste I say!
I mean, if you’re going to make a movie based on a video game, shouldn’t you aim it at The demographics that most commonly played that video game?
You mean 5-12 year olds? Cause that’s what they did
I feel like Minecraft has kind of lagged in popularity with the current crop of 5 to 12-year-olds compared to some of the newer games, like Roblox.
Roblox is four years older than minecraft.
Yes, but it’s on average popular with a younger demographic.
That may be so, but that’s irrelevant to them. Their IP is Minecraft, not Roblox. They only need to appeal to the largest demographic of people who enjoy Minecraft (aka kids, not adults). The other interests of their target audience are hardly relevant. All that matters is that they’re interested in the topic though to see a movie.
Or more accurately, bug their parents to pay to see the movie. Because those are additional tickets, too.
Players aged 15 to 21 make up the largest group of Minecraft’s player base at 43%.
The remaining 21% consists of players between 22 to 30 years old, and 20.59% are users aged 61 to 80.
You might be thinking of demographics from like 10 years ago, but those kids grew up dude. Kids are not the primary demographic.
I’m not disputing anything you’re saying, just trying to explain the logic of a movie production studio. If they’re trying to make a Minecraft movie, they’re going to gear it to maximize the revenue from their audience.
If they made it a kids movie, it’s because they thought that would make them the most money. Whatever kind of movie they made, it’s for monetary reasons.
That’s why they’ll fail. Thats why so many movies with a great IP to back them fail. They become more interested in profits than telling a good story.
And thats why great movies like the Lego Movie and Puss in Boots the last wish came out of left field and became huge hits. Because they focused on a great story first.
My dude, I agree with you. I’m just explaining how we get bullshit like this movie. Not actually supporting it or approving in any way. I can tell you right now that I have no intention of seeing this movie.
Also, everything is awesome.
People need to wake up to the fact that these movies are ads to sell shit. This is an ad to sell Minecraft to a new generation in of kids. Why in the world do you think they keep rebooting movies that’s made for kids like Star Wars and Transformers? Because they sell toys to kids.
So, why Minecraft movie? You admit the stats yourself: they need a new generation of kids to like Minecraft to sell Minecraft branded shit. They don’t even have to play the fuckin game as long as they’re paying for cheap branded clothing and plastic and skins for kids to show off to their friends what brand represents their personality the best.
I don’t think you’re wrong. I do think a good movie would be more profitable than a bad one. I wouldn’t show my kid this movie out of principle, because I happen to be of a generation that cares about this franchise. I wouldn’t buy any merch, toys, or clothes either. I’m sure some would, but I feel strongly that this movie won’t generate the profits they want, and it’ll be specifically because they made something terrible.
There are two main reasons why those numbers are skewed and incorrect.
- Mojang/Microsoft can’t legally keep tallies of players under the age of 13 due to COPA regulations, so that demo is underrepresented
- Those numbers include Java metrics which contrary to popular belief, are absolutely dwarfed by Bedrock players.
Bedrock players are Mojang/Microsoft’s target demo. They spend more money (with both realms and the marketplace) and purchase more merchandise.
or, maybe, the demographic of people playing minecraft is older than you think
I gotta find one of those godly servers populated by retired architects and engineers.
Dress To Impress movie adaptation when???
Minecraft is mostly popular with people who were 5 - 12 years old 10 years ago.
Yes cause 5 to 12-year-olds are the only people who play Minecraft. Nobody over the age of 12 plays Minecraft at all and there aren’t millions of Minecraft players out there that are anywhere from 12 to 70 years old.
If were going average or median I would be genuinely surprised if it was under 20 ngl.
They advertise to kids cause kids and adults buy it then, advertise to adults and youre just cutting off part of your market - companies aren’t so super sterilised these days cause today’s youth are just super loaded
if it isn’t meant for me, that’s totally fine.
That also means it’s not my fault when the thing that isn’t meant for me doesn’t get a audience, right? Right?
It will have an audience.
By this logic: “The Borderlands movie isn’t meant for you.”
Apparently it wasn’t. I don’t remember where I saw it, I think maybe a Kyle Bosman video, but Gearbox/Randy Pitchford basically said they made the movie to pull in people who hadn’t played the games.
I’ve said this before: Randy Pitchford isn’t very smart.
Randy Pitchford also says he isn’t smart, it’s just usually in more words and in a daily tweet
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The Mario movie had a Smash Bros scene too. They didn’t call it that and it was only Mario and DK but it was definitely themed as Smash Bros.
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Why didn’t they just make it a fucking animated movie?
In this style and humor please: https://youtu.be/TSsHG7p0jjU
I’m probably in the minority here but the realistic style is the least of my issues with the movie. I’ve only played modded minecraft and shaders give it that weird realistic look too lol
You’re not in the minority, I just think they should’ve committed to the bit more? The blending of styles is the weird part. Minecraft is already low fidelity and increasing the detail has always worked in the past for these movies. It’s part of why wreck it Ralph, the Mario movie, and even the emoji movie all did pretty well.
I actually enjoyed seeing stuff like the piglins and nether all dressed up and fancy. I just think the people are presented as if the movie contains no animation and it doesn’t work. If they want to make it work, do the Sonic thing and blend the worlds by putting animated spaces in the real world.
That won’t put butts in seats in theaters to make up for the money being invested. Microsoft wants a new generation of kid money.
what’s Microsoft
It seemed like it would be a cheesey movie with some dry humor and I was okay with it up until the girl character called Jack Black “a massive toolbag.” Thats not what I expect from a movie oriented to children, and that made me immediately drop any interest I had left. Then the rest of the trailer somehow got worse with the llama scene, whatever that was.
They should have made the movie animated in the same style as all their commercials, with the characters in a Minecraft style skin based on their real world appearance. Have them start and end in real life, whatever. But boy is this not going to be good.
This looks like the 90s Mario movie all over again. Or the Sonic movie – before they fixed Sonic. Like, even the Resident Evil and Tomb Raider movies are probably better than this and those movies were generally very inaccurate to their source material, and not well receieved.
Don’t remember who (and I’m not about to watch it again) but doesn’t someone also say “what the hell” at some point?
Yes they do.
Showed this to my kids. Their reaction was:
Kid 1: bruh
Kid 2: Is that the guy from Peaches?
Did that too. Boy and girl, 13 and 11. My daughter said it was dumb. The son wouldn’t even finish watching the trailer. He said it’s cringe.
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My kid loved it.
I wouldn’t watch it even if the trailer was really good but…I’m gonna shit on it for looking awful, not being targeted towards adults. That opening green screen shot looks AWFUL. I said in another thread it reminds me of those old car commercial edits with the Mark guy. The perspectives of the camera vs the background don’t seem to fit
All they would probably need to do is replace the main cast with digital game characters, or at least something that’s rendered so they at least blend in a lot better.
It almost seems like the Sonic movie thing, where they first released a trailer that was so awful they had to change Sonic to look much better. I’m still not sure if it was a very expensive marketing move or not.
Based on the quality of the rest of it, I’m leaning it’s not a marketing move lol
It completely looks like those fake College Humor or SNL trailers. You know, like this? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UiIRlg4Xr5w
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Fuck kotaku. It’s biased journalism and garbage takes just for the sake of being garbage takes. Seriously the most useless reporting in the industry. And also, fuck Jack. He is a coward and should’ve had Kyle’s back. It wasn’t even that bad of a joke.
This is the second time I’ve seen someone say this. Tenacious D is not broken up. Where are you getting this information?
who tf is it for then
Its proof-of-concept. They’re trying to get a movie out that’s entirely tied to the brand, without spending a meaningful amount of money on scripting, art direction, location scouting, or talent. This is the future of AI Movies in a nutshell.
How do you location scout for a movie about a block world?
Green screen my dude
Same way they did it for the Mario live action movie 30 years ago, I imagine. Get Tim Burton on it and I’m sure he’ll give you some advice.
Generate new world?
Didnt they already try that with Halo?
Children
I wouldn’t bring a kid anywhere near this brainrot garbage.
are children still playing minecraft?
Yes.
shareholders?
Great article, because it applies to anyone who reads it.
