Brother in law had a huge wolf dog. The kind that can put it’s paws on your shoulders and look at you face to face. Massive. He got in a tussel with a badger and got tore up, took two weeks to heal. Then took off and came back with a 40 lbs badger in his mouth. Overall a 40 lbs meth badger = 150 lbs wolf dog.
Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!
Honey badgers will fuck up your shit simply because it was there.
could one say, they don’t give a shit?
90% of the time Euro badgers do that
10% of the time they scream “Eulalia!” and tear you limb from limb
Redwallposting
I’ve witnessed a European badger stand up to a golden retriever much bigger than it barking and growling aggressively in its face and the badger stood its ground. I don’t know if it was too scared to turn away or if it genuinely wanted to fight, but it was brave AF either way. (also I’ve never seen such a clean badger, but tbf most examples I see are dead on the road :/ )
Australian badgers are half this size, have no teeth at all, but can project venom 50ft from a gland in their nostril. The venom is completely harmless to humans, however it soaks into the skin and causes a pheromone to be emitted from the lungs such that when you are asleep, it attracts 14 different species of deadly venomous spiders that are attracted to your airway from up to a 4km radius.
This is all true but it’s missing a key detail. The Australian badger is actually completely unrelated to the European and American badgers (which are mustelids). The Australian badger is a marsupial most closely related to the Tasmanian devil.
I’m pretty sure you made this up, so i believe it completely.
I don’t want to know if this is true or not. Nobody look it up.
You had me in the first half
Those are the ones related to drop bears, right? I mean they’ve gotta be.
Wat.
It sounds kinda based on stink badgers but they also aren’t in Australia.
Of course Australian badgers would do this.
That’s worse. So much worse. “I won’t kill you but you’ll wish I did”
Wisconsinite here where the badger is native and the mascot for the University of Wisconsin is the Badger.
This meme is inaccurate.
The American Badger will also remove your kidneys and sell them on the black market as well, to support their meth habit.
I’m in new mexico and saw a badger crossing the road while I was driving to work. It stopped in the middle of the road, turned towards me and waited, like it was deciding whether or not to fuck up the large metal thing coming towards it. Then slowly turned and continued on it’s way when it decided I wasn’t worth it. No fear whatsoever.
The badger moniker comes from lead miners that initially settled the Wisconsin territory. They often didn’t even bother building homes at first and just lived in their wildcat lead mines, like a badger.
But the American badger turns out to just want to drink a beer and talk about sports whereas the European badger, after having sat you down for some tea and buttered crumpets, reveals itself to be a racist eugenicist
No dude, you’re thinking of the other kind of British. I’m pretty sure their badgers are related to the homosapiens poulus aggressor, more commonly known as “football hooligans” to the locals.
TBH, “reveals itself by shivving you anyway” is probably closer to the truth with Brittons and their tea.
Racisto? Europians? What an absolutely outrageous accusation. Badgers on
🍄 🍄
🐍🐍
🦡 🦡 🦡
🍄🍄
Fuck it, there is no substitute.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pzagBTcYsYQ
(if i could i would upload the original flash animation from albino black sheep)
I hate how hard it’s to convey this masterpiece of a meme to younger audience now that Newgrounds doesn’t use the music background anymore and ng isn’t a default go to media place for them. Even Know Your Meme doesn’t mention why this is created.
🐍🐍
🐍
honey badger don’t care
I love this meme, and nearly commented it myself to the top comment, but i learned an american badger != a honey badger :(
Lol, dang. TIL. I almost googled it, but I’m happier learning it vicariously through you. Takes some of the brunt of the blow.
Dammit is this how we got the Lion & Wardrobe and such?
American badger is a wolverine? Genuine question.
No, this is a wolverine:
It’s about twice as big as an American badger.
No, this is a wolverine
No, this is a wolverine:
He’s a living raging powerhouse who’s bound to knock you back on your emerald posterior!
Fucking awesome
Ah, a family sized meth weasel.
That’s exactly what badgers do in the stories of Beatrix Potter
Cook meth?
Having just visited the Lakes District, it’s wild how much Beatrix Potter stores there are.
I guess that’s why my American ass grew up with Beatrix Potter. My English grandparents had a caravan in the lake district
Yep! Potter owned a fuck ton of land in that area and donated it to the national trust, which is a big reason why the entire area is the British equivalent of a national park.
Wait till you hear what they do in Brian Jacques’ Redwall series!
If you think American badgers are bad wait till you meet the crack fox
When I was a child, I was told that hunters used to put things like twigs in their boots, so the European badger would let go, when they heard the “leg break”.
Though I doubted it even then.