Would you be more afraid to meet a bear in the forest late at night, or a woman?

  • @[email protected]
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    38 hours ago

    I wouldn’t be too worried about a bear, unless it were a momma bear and the cub was anywhere near me. You just leave while facing it or do step 2 of getting a bearskin rug.

    A woman in the woods is terrifying. A lone woman, not hiking, not taking photos, not being a Disney princess with the fauna gathering about her in some sort of whimsical aura, just a woman in the middle of the woods and entirely out of context; terrifying. That is the little girl with mathematics books in a city at night full of aliens.

    Have I unknowingly intruded upon her witchy domain with no opportunity for recompense and live? Is she a skinwalker? Is she an alien masquerading as a human female for the purposes of luring foolish men to abduct? Is she a demon harvesting souls for some unholy purpose? Does she want to take half my stuff and a quarter of my income for decades? Does she want to have my children? Does she want to put basic bitch letter signs in every room so I know what to do or what room I am in if I were to forget?

    Meeting a lone woman in the woods is terrifying.

  • @[email protected]
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    27 hours ago

    The best case scenario for the bear option is you both avoid each other and move on. The absolute best case scenario for the woman option is she’s really the only one out there and is violent enough to survive on her own.

    Bear all day every day.

  • @borf
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    29 hours ago

    Depends on the bear and the woman. If I’m choosing between a gorged, sleepy, elderly bear and my bloodlusted ex with a gun, then definitely the bear. If it’s a random 20 year old woman vs. a starving, pissed-off grizzly, gimme the coed.

    • @[email protected]
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      16 hours ago

      Would you be more afraid to meet a bear in the forest late at night, or a woman?

      If I’m choosing between a gorged, sleepy, elderly bear and my bloodlusted ex with a gun, then definitely the bear.

      NGL, it took me a moment to realize you were saying you would rather come across the bear in this situation, not that you would be more afraid of the bear.

      • @borf
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        25 hours ago

        smh this is what i get for posting stoned

      • @[email protected]
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        26 hours ago

        Do we get the context of ursine or big hairy gay guy or are we going in blind with that too?

        • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍
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          16 minutes ago

          Blind. It’s always blind.

          I don’t remember who it was, but some historian once said you could estimate how good and fair a time period is by imagining that you are going to be born at random into it. You don’t get to choose your parents, and statistics are the factor - this isn’t a monkey’s paw wish, it’s a random number generator.

          In this case, if you pick “bear,” you’re going to get a random bear from all the bears in the world. If you’re a man, you get a random one of the 4 billion(ish) adult women on the planet. Of you’re a woman, you get a random man.

          It could be a Giant Panda; it could be a Polar Bear. Statistically, probably some sort of black bear; but it’s random.

          Odds are you’re going to get an Asian person: Indian, Chinese, whatever. But you could also get some big, aggressive person magically yanked out of solitary: random.

  • @[email protected]OP
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    29 hours ago

    As a man I mean. I mean the bear might eat you. But either ways, it’s not gonna be a drawn out affair. What about you lice?