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zedgeist@lemmy.world to me_irl@lemmy.world · 6 months ago

me_irl

lemmy.world

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me_irl

lemmy.world

zedgeist@lemmy.world to me_irl@lemmy.world · 6 months ago
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  • Asafum@feddit.nl
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    5 months ago

    Ahh yes the old excuse of “I can’t come, the ghost of Hitler is having a nervous breakdown.”

    I need to be there for my homie.

    …wait

    • veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Better then Get this: My nephew gave me syphilis.

  • unmagical@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    The whole HS marching band, eh?

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      All of it. Including the trombone.

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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      5 months ago

      Change it to a college marching band and I’d sign up for that course of antibiotics

  • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 months ago

    Sorry I can’t come, a professional hockey team gave me syphilis.

  • Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Roll 3d10.

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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    5 months ago

    This is going to sound like an excuse, but my tinder date found my box of human teeth…now she wants to show me hers.

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    6 months ago

    I can’t go because Dan Rather gave me syphilis

    sounds about right

  • PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Is MAD magazine back?

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I can’t go because the Pope posted my nudes on Instagram. Plus a high school marching band died in front of me, but whatevs. They were crap 🤷

  • tiramichu@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Many of these sound pretty believable if you go with the “my Tinder date” option.

  • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • LostWanderer
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    6 months ago

    ROFL I would use these only if I were being particularly cheeky to someone that I didn’t like.

  • PlaidBaron@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    What flag is this?

me_irl@lemmy.world

me_irl@lemmy.world

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