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lol so many downvotes to this
People come to a lemmy group for a laugh and then there are those who just can’t laugh about anything. They must be very sad people
Wife bad amirite
Are the straights OK?
according to suicide statistics they’re better than non-straights
But that’s because of society not relationships
doesn’t really matter if you only ask whether someone’s fine or not
There can be unhealthy, weird “culture” around straight relationships and jokes about how your wife sucks is an example of it.
Asking “are the straights ok” is to express that you notice an example of that, obviously not an actual question about how were doing.
so the unhealthy thing straights do is making bad jokes about their partner, while in contrast non-straights are more likely to commit/experience domestic abuse.
Previous studies, when analyzed together, indicate that domestic violence affects 25 percent to 75 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals. However, a lack of representative data and underreporting of abuse paints an incomplete picture of the true landscape, suggesting even higher rates. An estimated one in four heterosexual women experience domestic abuse, with rates significantly lower for heterosexual men. [source]
also this:
[T]he ratio of heterosexual to homosexual pedophiles was calculated to be approximately 11:1. This suggests that the resulting proportion of true pedophiles among persons with a homosexual erotic development is greater than that in persons who develop heterosexually. [source]
but sure, we should ask specifically about the wellbeing of the straights
Boomer humor.
This is a shit post, not a shitpost
wife bad amirite fellow men
Fellow boomers
Father I cannot click the book.
You could easily reverse the genders and this would still be funny. He’s saying it to her face, it’s like a roast
Edit: Y’all are some sad motherfuckers here on Lemmy. You’re not supposed to take jokes seriously. It’s literally a shitpost, nobody is here on their soapbox saying women are bad
Sad motherfuckers for calling out a shitty "spouse “bad” joke?
No, it’s just people are super tired of hearing about jokes being made at the expense of people you’re supposed to love lmao. That’s like the exact opposite of “sad motherfuckers”.
It’s not really funny with any genders. I guess I’ve had too many “roasts” to my face
You shouldn’t have stopped sucking
I’d recommend breaking up with him if you haven’t already
HA HA HA DEAD BEDROOM
It’s a real thing that happens
Yeah. statistically a woman’s sex drive begins to fall after a year. Sex researchers call it “the tragedy of the male sex drive.”
I highly recommend The Science of Sex by Baumeister and Tice. It’s full of surprising insights.
r/BOOMERTIME is leaking?
Haha I hate my wife!
With this kind of attitude, his mop is better at making things wet than he is.
I don’t understand how people end up married to someone they only kinda like and tolerate. Idk if I’ll ever marry because I want to be very sure we love each other and are compatible before making big decisions like that.
Take the time to know someone as a friend for a long time, date slowly and get to know them well.
I met my wife in college and we took it very slow for 8 years or so and then got married, and now we have been married about the same. We didn’t rush into marriage, kids, etc.
We also have very good communication about anything and everything, we take the time to spend together and we also have time for ourselves.
People get horny and lonely, are willing to make a lot of compromises to change that. and complacency happens over time. Throw kids in the mix, and everything gets intensified.
You know the boomer joke about spouse becoming a different person after marriage/childbirth? This is how.
Let the downvotes begin.
Since when is it a “joke”?
From experience: in the US especially we’re sold this idea of the nuclear family: a husband, a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog with a picketed yard. It sounds nice, when that’s how you’ve grown up and how your friends have grown up and how your parents live and how your grandparents live. We’re sold this idea, this lie, so intensely because our country wants us to be in these easy to control family units designed to enforce patriarchy.
When a man is taught his job is to be a patriarchy, to be stoic, to be the protector and provider, he forgets his own needs. When aan forgets his own needs, he unwittingly lies to those close to him, those who love him. Those who think he loves them, beyond familial tie.
These are doubly so for those of us who are neurodivergent, as were taught from birth that we must suppress our own needs so those around us will tolerate us. It doesn’t matter if I loved her or not, she loved me and that means I have a responsibility.
Anyway those are just my 2 cents, but what do I know, I’m just a late 20s divorced autistic trans woman, cishet relationships are an enigma to me.
Even as a kid, that “ideal” seemed miserable to me. I guess I kinda see it if we adjust it to me being transbian, but it’s still not ideal. I think I’d be a lot happier in a much more communal culture, which is the opposite of the American Dream.
I’m also not monogamist, so uh, yeah, that’s very not compatible with this system.
It doesn’t usually start out that way. People get complacent and other life shit happens that they start to prioritize over their partner. Then resentment builds and everything goes to hell.
So many married couples I know tend to talk as if they absolutely hate their spouse. I never understood it. If you hate them that much, then why are you married??? Very rarely do people seem to have a mutually appreciative relationship with one another. As someone who never really bothered with dating, the whole concept of people staying with someone they hate so much has forever confused me.
As a general thing not related to relationships…I’ve noticed that most people I interact with at work have strong tendencies to be randomly unkind for no reason. The people who I have always gravitated towards either don’t seem to display random acts of unkindness or very rarely do so. I wonder if the problem is simply that most people in general are assholes??? Maybe if both of them are assholes then each one is the best they could have come up with or something??? Idk just rambling off some ideas here.
My guess is the assholeness is also built up resentment, because clear communication is socially taboo. We use euphemisms and hints, we say things without saying it, we avoid being rude and hide feelings. I’ve always hated that.
For all those young people trying to figure out of they are compatible and should get married …
If you can both afford it … go on an international trip together for at least two weeks.
Organizing together for something this expensive shows both how committed each other are to one another.
Spending every single day with each other figuring out how to live with each other during a complicated, sometimes difficult, but very real situations that have to be dealt with shows who each person really is and how they handle things. It gets even more revealing when you both end up in a situation where you are both tired, hungry and stressed out. Even if you are a good planner and organize every hour of a trip, not everything works out and it’s those moments that show who you really are. And the longer your trip lasts, the more these events happen and the more you see the other person because you have to rely on one another in a foreign country.
I went to Thailand with my wife after we got together (we never officially married because we just didn’t care about that). We didn’t have much money and most expensive part of the trip was the flight to get there. We stayed in hostels, huts, bungalows and shady places and spent every day fearful, hot, confused and wondering what to do next. We did it for a month and we grew to love and trust one another through some really crazy shit. That was 26 years ago and we still talk about it.
My favorite story about this was a couple we knew years ago. They took one motorcycle and went on a four month journey around North America on their honeymoon. They went as far as Alaska, the Atlantic coast, Pacific coast, gulf of Mexico and down to Panama and back. They’re still together after 60 years.
That’s kind of classist ngl, implying that you should only get married if you can afford a two week international vacation?
Or European, but that’s still holding something over my American, married on a beach by my mother in law, right back to work, no honeymoon no money for gifts no vacation time to take anyway ass.
But I understand the sentiment, I’d been with my partner 11 years before we got married, we knew how bad it could get without being the Griswalds
Agreed. I you are a woman why would you engage in sexual activities that you don’t really enjoy? If you are a guy why would you push a person that you supposeddly love to perform sex acts that she doesn’t want to do.
True, but people should express their wants and needs in life.
More than that: if you seem incompatible, why are you hiding it behind resentful jokes instead of actually confronting it?
Add a few decades to any decision. You probably won’t feel the same.
Feel the same as what?
As you did when you made the decision decades ago.
Maybe you’re taking the joke too seriously. No one and no relationship is perfect. I can easily be both in a solid relationship with the love of my life and have some areas of frustration to vent in sexism jokes. Of course she may be frustrated enough to divorce me out of the blue, so I guess the joke is on me
I can’t say I’ve ever had a relationship or friend that made me want to do sexist jokes about them
Religion.
It’s nice that they are cleaning together
Maybe they could work together to clean out some of the water pipes in the house
It’s funny because any man stating “this is true” etc is just telling on themselves. If the physical attraction was there before marriage the only reason it would disappear after marriage is that one person is suddenly not “putting in the effort” any more.
That effort doesn’t start with a bj.
I’ve had GFs in the past lose their attraction to me because I cried in front of them one time. All kinds of shit can affect that. Not just laziness. It may not even be anyone’s fault at all.
It seems really unhealthy for men to not ever cry.
Maybe but overall I think I’d have been better off keeping it to myself and continuing to have sex regularly. I don’t need to cry that often and having someone else around when I do it has never really helped with whatever was going on.
Not fully convinced you’re discussing marriage like the rest of us here tbh
I’m discussing reasons people can lose attraction to each other. You don’t have to be married for that to happen.
The thread talks about what happens after marriage. I suggest not marrying people you haven’t been vulnerable in front of.
That was just an example I had personally experienced. As I said there could be any number of reasons. Mental health, work stress, illness, hormone changes, etc. Marriage status has nothing to do with it.
It’s entirely possible that it’s not the man who stopped putting in effort.
Look at the demographics of those who create, share and upvote memes from the man’s (this thread) and the woman’s point of view.
Entirely possible - yes. Statistically likely - no.
