That’s my personal view obviously. But from porn to written erotica, in my experience, cock caging and pegging themes tend to fall towards humilliation/emasculation scenarios.
Which I find strange.
Those are things I enjoy and tried in real life. It had nothing to do with that kind of setting.
I spent a week caged and it was one of the most sensual times of my life. The attention from my partner, the daily care, the maintenance, everything led to a very sexually charged week. If I was “deprived” of that part of my body, so was my partner.
And the same with pegging. We both enjoy anal play. Plugs, dildos, etc. Pegging sort of came naturally from it. I enjoy it and my partner really enjoys getting me off like that.
No humilliation, emasculation or anything like it ever involved.
What are your thoughts on this association?
On the subject of pegging, I think it has to do with the fact that in a heteropatriarchal system, the person being penetrated is by definition dominated. Originally, of course, it was women, and vaginal penetration.
By extension, any form of penetration is seen as an expression of domination. This is true for pegging, as it is for anal sex particularly when it’s between men (it’s not uncommon to see confusion between bottom and sub).
I think it’s a worldview that’s ethically unbearable, and moreover it locks sexuality and sensuality into limited, bland and sad scripts.
Its this, really. Well put. Unfortunately we still live in a world where having a penis means you’re in charge, and being penetrated means you’re inferior. The lack of a penis or being fucked defaults, to a lot of people, to being weak and submissive. It doesn’t help that so many have the - wrong - idea that top = dom and bottom = sub.
I’ve talked to folks a few times about this, and how the notion of a bottom being the dominant partner and getting penetrated, would blow so many guys’ minds, if they can even understand the scenario to begin with.
I mean… I like it. Socially obfuscated power dynamics, especially gendered ones, have caused me a lot of discomfort and confusion. BDSM stimulates me because it’s exciting and cathartic to drop the complicated, ambiguous facade of hierarchical etiquette and engage with power directly. I enjoy it in both directions but usually only one way with a particular person. There is some objective power delta between any two subjects. Either embracing or defying it can be satisfying. It’s about clarity.
I think that a lot of porn is made by people who are not necessarily into a specific kink, they just want to “cater to the market”. So when it comes to anything that embarrass them to do - particularly anything that resembles love or kindness, they change it by adding humiliation in order to overcome their embarrassment
