(using an alt account because people I know follow my main)
Hypersexuality, previously known as Nymphomania, is a medical condition that severely increases the amount of sexual desire and urges one has. Depending on the person this can be up to a point of annoyance or distress.
I only recently realized I had this through an outside perspective and it manifests as a constant sexual drive in me.
So, AMA! And don’t be shy, there are no questions that are off limits
Do most trans women have penises?
I am into hole not pole, and I don’t like butts.
I’d definitely say >75% still have one. Many more than that want a surgery, but most can’t get one due to the costs
It depends on if they’ve had “bottom surgery” as it’s commonly called.
What’s the polite way to ask?
Honestly, there isn’t one. Especially as a man. We have this concept of “chasers”, basically creeps that fetishize and mistreat trans women, and every way to ask this makes you look like one. You could maybe put this into your dating profile or be very upfront about it, but that also will reduce your chances of success
How did you get your friends to join Lemmy?
They originally got me into Mastodon as a federated service. I later fled Reddit and stumbled upon Lemmy as an alternative and really liked the Fediverse aspects of it. I recommended it to others and mentioned I had made that switch a few times, so some of my friends tried it out too and made accounts.
I know some still use it rarely and I know they know my account, so I didn’t want to run that risk of posting this on my main
What’s your favorite dinosaur? 🦕
Supersaurus, because…
L O N G B O I
Can you tell us about one of the worst decisions you’ve made as a result? How’d that situation turn out?
Gonna use a spoiler here because of rather uncomfortable content
CW: Rape, abuse
A while back I got sexually abused by somebody and somehow made the stupid decision to just continue that as a “friendship+” for months. Only after a while I realized that this was truly fucked up and that I gave a bunch of consent to things I shouldn’t have given it to. Definitely made me learn to prioritize myself in the hardest way possible. He got really manipulative about me putting a stop to it too, which really sucked
That’s rough. Thanks for sharing. It sucks that there are people like that who are just looking to exploit others. I hope that you’ve found some better friends since then and are getting the support that you need.
Oh definitely. I’m living the best life out here. Everything bad that can happen is just a stepping stone to the future and you’ll learn from it for later
Here’s the real question that has always surprised me with the answers when I’ve met folks that meet the criteria.
Does it make you happy?
Depends on what you mean
Having hypersexuality itself? It’s just the norm for me, very neutral feeling about that.
If you mean having sex, then yeah, definitely. I still very much enjoy that
How many times have you sexed?
Many. Although as a trans woman a good amount of that is rather unusual sex
a good amount of that is rather unusual sex
I’d like to know more about this, would you elaborate?
Well, I’m a trans woman. Most people I date are trans woman. If you take testosterone blockers as part of a hormone feminization therapy you are going to inevitably loose some penile functionality. So penetrative sex is not very usual for me. But I prefer doing BDSM activities way more anyways. Due to that sex doesn’t really end with somebody cumming, but whenever everybody is too exhausted to continue instead.
Overall I would consider that comparatively unusual, especially the kind of kinks that make up most of it
Do you think not having that point of climax contributes to your hypersexuality?
For me, no. It’s hard to archive because of the testosterone blockers. And doing a good session of heavy impact play will relax me more than an orgasm ever will anyways.
It obviously looks like a direct cause, but it’s quite irrelevant in my case
I see, thanks for the answer!
DMHS to that ;)
Is twice a day already hypersexual?
Hypersexuality is less about the amount you do it and more about your desires and if you can control them. Masturbating twice daily is quite common for teenagers for example (I know some that used to do it 5+ times/day and aren’t hypersexual). If you feel like having sex/masturbating doesn’t reduce your drive at all or that it might make you do things you don’t want or would regret, you might be hypersexual
how does it manifest? how does it affect your day-to-day?
For me it means constant sexual desires. Ever since I started HRT (hormone therapy as a trans woman) the reduced testosterone should have killed my sex-drive, but it only reduced my urge to masturbate. The desires themselves (especially desiring other people) are still present and stronger than ever.
It makes me search out sexual situations much more than others. It also makes thinking about consent very important, as I probably would do things I might regret later otherwise.
woman*
Women is plural, I’m pretty sure you aren’t transitioning to several women since that’d be impossible no matter how cool it’d be.
I mean, some people identify als plural…
But yeah, autocorrect just screwed me over on that.
grats on getting on the e :)
so, do you have self-control or concentration issues? can you mitigate them?
I used to have very intense social anxiety and while I overcame a lot of it, it still gives me problems in intimacy with people I don’t know well. Which incidentally helps me repress desires sometimes.
To me there are also some specific situations that trigger very strong urges that I have issues controlling. For example: having somebody’s head close to mine gives the strong urge to kiss them/make out, but very independently of who that is. This can be quite a hassle at work if somebody leans over my shoulder to explain/show me something. I luckily always repressed it in those moments, but it’s really hard. I have the same thing with crotches also, but that doesn’t come up that often LOL
It can sometimes cause concentration issues when I’m not dealing with my desires enough. A few times in the past it had gotten so far (aided though close friends finding it entertaining to tease me in those situations) that I got literally drunk from it. Like: slurred speech, drowsiness, impaired vision and the such. I had to explain to multiple people that, no, I’m not on drugs, but just horny. A friend showed me some lewd Tumblr posts and I almost drooled over her phone
this is very interesting because it brings up a thing i’ve thought about a lot, how to even talk about this stuff with people? i’ve had suspicions but i don’t have the sort of people around me where this can be discussed. which helps fuel even more anxiety.
While I talk about the effects, I haven’t told many people about the hypersexuality itself. I fear they might get the wrong ideas, like thinking I might not be able to consent or that I’m not interested in romantical stuff because of it. Both are wrong, but too easy to imagine from the definition.
Did you have any experiences that made you think about having this? Or what suspicions are you talking about?
yeah, experiences like flooding your brain in the middle of the day making it hard to concentrate. then again that may be an audhd thing.
Depending on what thoughts you had during that it could be ADHD or something else. Really comes down to your personal definition and how you feel about it
