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You should read The Five Love Languages. This is an actual thing. Different people express and receive love differently. “Acts of Kindness” is one of them. My partner loves when i do things, and i know this, so i do it because i know it makes her feel loved. And that’s hot.
If Books Could Kill did a good podcast about The Five Love Languages: https://www.stitcher.com/show/if-books-could-kill/episode/the-5-love-languages-302265819
I actually just listened to that episode yesterday, that whole show is pretty great (also, the one author’s other podcast - 5-4 (“a podcast about how much the supreme court sucks”) - is consistently amazing), but for anybody out there who doesn’t do podcasts and wants a summary,
tl;dl All the good ideas in it were stolen from other places and the author is a secret fundamentalist who thinks women need to get back in the kitchen and gay people need to get back in the closet. For example, this Q & A article from 2013
Also, from this review of the podcast
I missed this part and was wondering to myself wtf you were on about!
I was hoping someone would bring up love languages! As someone who speaks gift giving and acts of service, when someone does something for me or gives me a truly thoughtful gift for me I adore it. On the other hand if I don’t see those languages spoken, it makes me feel as though I’m not thought about as much as those I love and it can breed resentfulness.
Cane here to say this. 100% this.