So… let’s talk about my last post.
I got A LOT of comments telling me to gain weight and that I look unhealthy.
Any comments like that from not on will earn you a block. I understand you’re coming from a place of concern- but I am active on being healthy.
I don’t weigh myself, I eat when I’m hungry, I eat a lot of fresh food, I love cooking and baking, I love swimming, I love being out in the sunshine, I eat too much sugar.
Don’t make me feel weird about my weight. I deal with that enough in real life.
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I think there’s something about “skinny shaming” that gets under my skin. I understand people don’t think it’s a problem because where the insult being called skinny? But it’s just… don’t bring it up to me anyway. As long as I’m healthy I’m happy!
It’s no different to any other kind of body shaming, you’re totally right. I don’t think just “ignoring it” is the right approach - speaking out and telling people that what they’re saying is inappropriate and unasked for is great, if you can.
It’s especially difficult having these discussions in adult spaces, where a very specific kind of comment style prevails. Good on you for speaking up for yourself. I’m sorry you had to deal with some people massively overstepping.
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I saw the edit! Thank you!
And yes. This is not a safe space for body shaming. I will shame you back.
I’ve only told one person on here that they should “gain weight”. It was this red headed chick with an only fans. In one pic where she was sitting all bunched up she looked fine, but there was another picture of her standing up where she looked very ummmmmm Eugenia Cooneyesque?
Like, you could see all her bones and joints and stuff. It was bad enough that my partner and I had a long discussion about how foul it must be to have your money be tied to an unhealthy body situation. As always though, my words in regards to someone’s body are just a suggestion.
Which brings me to my final point. You are a grown ass woman. Which means you are free to do with your body as you please. Don’t listen to other people about your body. “My body my choice” isn’t just a chant for women’s healthcare. It’s every adult human’s s right. Do what makes you happy.
Your “suggestion” might have triggered serious mental health issues. What if that person has, or has had, an eating disorder? What if they feel genuinely pleased by their progress they’ve made in that area, and you make them feel like they haven’t progressed at all?
What if your comment then triggered them to think they were underweight, and was the tipping point to a breakdown after repeated pointed comments from online commenters, friends and family?
Basically, keep it to yourself.
I get what you’re saying. But the reality of life is that you can’t go around thinking “what if” all the time. I mean, what if I said that and she got help? The fact is that we’ll never know, and the reality is that probably she didn’t pay any attention to what I said and is still doing what she was doing.
Nobody is getting their first insight into having a mental health condition from comments they read on porn they’ve posted. There are enough social connections in most people’s lives for them to have heard it all before.
If somebody is actively promoting practises that are damaging to mental health, then it’s reasonable to speak up so other viewers don’t think it’s good. If they’re not, they almost certainly have a much clearer view of the situation than a commenter seeing their pictures online.
Once again, I’m not disagreeing with you. However, as someone that has been in a ummmmmm “situation” before. Sometimes, even when we know we are in a situation, and people close to us know we are in a situation. We think we can still fool people that don’t know us personally.
I’m not pretending to know her “situation”. After all, for all we know that is how she likes her body and sees nothing wrong with it. For all we know she collects comments like mine as a badge of honor, and prints them out. Maybe hanging them on the wall in some secret room in her house that nobody else knows about. Who knows.
I’m not disagreeing with you. I’m also not agreeing with you. The fact is we don’t know, and it’s kind of pointless to theorize what the impact of a comment from an internet stranger is.
Here’s a fun true story. So the year is 2009. Me and my now partner are on heroin real bad. Partner does cam shows to support our habit. One of my partners “clients” claims to be bassist for deathcab for cutie, and gets us front row seats when band comes to town. Another “client” doesn’t want to see sex stuff. They just want to watch us shoot up. Sends money PayPal I go get dope. We get on camera and shoot up. This guy pays for our habit almost daily for a few months.
My point is. I’ve seen the abuse firsthand from internet Johns. If that chick is so thin skinned that someone telling her that she should “gain some weight” breaks her. Then porn probably isn’t the place for her.
I’m all for fostering a positive body situation, but there are a lot of really messed up people out there. You have to be thick skinned if you want to get naked for a living. Because some guys just want to watch the world burn.
So imma weigh in…
Weight has so much baggage connected to it. Being too thin- being too large. Regardless what gender you are… there’s always something to be said. There’s no winning and it’s bullshit. I decided long ago I’m not going to change my body for anyone but myself.
Unfortunately not everyone else has come to that conclusion. I will not tolerate any form of body shaming. I want to be involved in a community that won’t tolerate it. There are so many contributing factors to someone’s weight; mental health, physical health, drug use, diet restrictions, genetics. Unless we KNOW that someone is engaging in unhealthy behaviours- let’s keep our mouths shut.
Also. Thanks for the comments. Printing them out right now.
Honetly, your weight looks really healthy to me! Its not like you are anorexic, or your ribs are really showing!
Sorry people are so rude to you.
Thin tall girl problems
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Honestly, like they said, even coming from a place of concern, it’s not ok.
Nobody is about to get their first insight into having a mental health condition like an eating disorder from comments on porn that they’ve posted. It’s just not a reality. Anybody who gets those comments online has already heard it all before, and knows how people feel about it.
I would say, if somebody is actively promoting an unhealthy lifestyle by glorifying bulimia or undereating, then it’s a good time to speak up so others aren’t influenced, and to make it clear that promoting those things can lead to serious mental health issues.
Telling someone they should gain weight, lose weight, get a boob job, go to the gym, stop going to the gym - it’s all totally inappropriate, and potentially very damaging.
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It’d be 100% different if it was coming from a place of concern. I’m a small girl- I get it. I also naturally have a very small waist and wide hips which makes my hip bones look more prominent… I get it.
I just don’t like being asked if I’m on drugs because I’m thin.
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Tbh, this community is different! There are way more wonderful and supportive people on here
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Tl;dr—all the way at the very top, just so I’m emphatically clear: You look absolutely fine.
Fuck me, and for once in my damned life, I do not mean that literally or anything approaching that. The fact that I saw this post and immediately felt the need to stop masturbating, just to write an entire-ass comment that is completely non-sexual, is a fucking travesty on their part. I am extremely sorry that those comments are being made, not only on principle, but also because they’re objectively incorrect anyway. Commenting on your weight—good, bad, or otherwise—would never occur to me without having read this. You do not look physically unhealthy in any regard, at least if you’re asking me. I’ve seen women professionally diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, also naked, and you do not look anything like that. Obligatory: I’m not a doctor, but whatever. You look fine to me, and I genuinely mean that. You do NOT, at all, look like you’re on drugs; it really pisses me off that that was ever said to and/or about you by anyone, as well it should; it should piss you off even more, and I implore you to do exactly what you said you would and block anyone who says anything like that.
I will definitely be leaving another comment under another post of yours, probably here in a few minutes, and you have my word that my thoughts concerning whatever post that is will be, respectfully, decidedly not completely non-sexual unlike this.
That is all. Thank you. Fuck.
Good on you for setting boundaries. Fuck the haters and trolls. Stay true to you, and I agree with you.
