I subscribe to some pet subs to see cute pictures of cats and dogs to improve my mood and then every tenth post or so is “my poor dead cat”. I hate it, I never knew your catdog and now im slightly sad that its dead. Now I have to unsubscribe from all these cute pet subs cause y’all can’t not talk about how dead your pets are. Maybe join a support group or something.
upvoted for having such a stone cold unpopular opinion haha
Do people like seeing those posts?? I’m not so rude to tell people to keep their grieving to themselves, but I’m 100% with OP that they bring down the whole mood when you just wanna look at some cute dogs
Yup. I thought OP was spot on and have always felt the same. I view those subs to see animals being cute and be happy about it. I’m sorry for their loss, but that is not cute or happy.
it feels like there’s just peer pressure to act like you’re fine with it, if you say you don’t like it you’re a horrible selfish person
but like bro if you come to someone’s birthday party and start talking about how your grandpa carked it last week you’re going to be asked to leave
This reminds me of the most unpleasant Thanksgiving I personally experienced. There were several factors that ruined the day but, I completely checked out mentally during dinner as one of the guests was talking about inheriting a cat from someone who died and how the cat was now dying. The thing I was most thankful for that year was going home.
Like seeing them? No. Understand that someone is grieving, and probably doesn’t have anyone to vent to if they’re posting to some tiny social media site about their loss? Yes. It’s easy to wish them well, and probably help them a lot through a very hard time.
Start a ghost pets crusade.
“My dead cat came back last night…” and see how it goes.
Haha yeahhh, go all Pet Sematary on em :-)
Kitty came back wrong.
Exactly!
This is why I unsubscribed from r/pics years ago. Too many sob stories. I’m assuming once more migrants make it to lemmy I’ll have to start wedding out the places where sob stories are bound to happen again.
RIF had a great feature that you could block posts by topic. I added I think it was “Pet Loss” and immediately the problem disappeared.
I really need this feature in lemmy
I tried that but people don’t tag their posts correctly anyways I think it was a grief tag or soemthing Edit oh rif i thought you meant reddit enhancement suite
This seems like it could be solved using an LLM
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I support your opinion wholeheartedly. I get why people do it I guess but it just makes others feel sad when they could post the picture and tell the story later in the comments or something.
Fucking fully agree. I feel like shit enough elsewhere without hearing about dead pets in an otherwise feel good place
I despise these posts. The day my cat dies, I pledge to post some sort of post about him, but it won’t say he died. It’ll be some trash post like “LOOK AT THIS DUDE, HE HAS NO BRAIN CELLS” and it’ll be him like, chewing plastic or going goblin mode on a toy.
GOBLIN MODE!!!1!!!1!!!1111!!!
So you want to see the pet I care for when it makes you happier, but you can’t be bothered to bear the slightest hit to your mood when sharing my grief makes me happier? Yeah, no, I don’t think you will be missed. Farewell!
So you want to see the pet I care for when it makes you happier
Yes exactly.
bothered to bear the slightest hit to your mood when sharing my grief makes me happier?
How incredibly selfish.
Well also I tend to lurk in those communities so I 100% would not be missed. But yea you hit the nail on the head.
I appreciate your sobriety
Kinda presumptuous to assume strangers should carry your burden let alone want to
jesus.
Yeah. It’s not only rude but ugly, really ugly. Someone lost their best friend and may* not have had anywhere else to turn for support but eff them for bringing down my glee. It’s unkind and selfish, at best. Perhaps op could look within for who did what to make that shadow, and how they can befriend it.
Wtf. No one owes you their sadness, and it’s beyond selfish to expect others to be upset just because you are. You adopted the pet. It’s your responsibility, no one else’s.
That’s true for anyone not actively advocating for “share things that make me happy please but keep the sad sides to yourself, will ya?”
That is selfish. I don’t expect anyone to be sad with me, but when you feel so bothered by people who want to share their grief between your happy goofy dog pictures that you complain about it, you come off as selfish.
That’s true for anyone not actively advocating for “share things that make me happy please but keep the sad sides to yourself, will ya?”
Yes, don’t post sad shit in communities not designed for that.
That is not selfish.
Who decides what a community is “designed for”? What makes you so sure the “dead animal posters” are in the wrong with how they see the community and not you?
That’s not how life works. I don’t go around in public telling every random stranger about my dead mom and how much I miss her. That’s my burden to bear and would be completely inappropriate. The same goes for cute cat subs and there needs to be a rule preventing it.
That’s not what’s happening here though. A community, however open to subscriptions, is still a closed off, alibeit permiable space. It’s like a community center that has a dog room. Everyone can see inside, everyone can be there, but no one is rubbing anything in anyone’s faces if you enter and see something you don’t like.
Yes, that is what’s happening. This is a public space. There is no permission required to be here anyone can participate. Dropping your dead animal story on a crowd of people trying to brighten up their day is a dick move. That’s it that’s all. I’m done here. G’night!
posting your personal sad stories to an otherwise wholesome, happy community is straight-up tone deaf antisocial shit.
You justify calling people antisocial because you decided that the community in question is wholesome and happy while the dead animal posts are literal proof to the opposite. If the community explicitly said that no sad posts were allowed, you’d be in the right. But a community doesn’t have to behave like you want it to just because you want it to, does it?
Good luck out there kiddo
I am 100% being selfish in this situation. But y’all could also make a community specific for grieving the loss of a pet.
Or you could make a community without that.
No and no one owes anyone bitterness, either. Scroll on is the point.
Lemmy has gotten extremely vitriolic. As Sidhartha said, holding resentment is like swallowing poison and expecting the resented to die.
What’s ugly and rude is dropping your dead dog story on a crowd of random strangers that are there just looking for something to brighten up their day. There are plenty of emotional support communities to chose from that are more appropriate for people grieving over loss.
How do I befriend a dead dog?
That’s not what I said.
There was one directly above this in my feed, so that’s a fun coincidence. Ofc my feed is sorted by upvotes so it looks like your opinion is coming in 2nd place to a dead cat.
The black cat lay down? Yeah I saw that! I didn’t click it. I don’t want to know about the dead kitty so this was the perfect post to visit.
I agree. For pretty much all pet memorial pics/stories.
Except for that one recently with the guy that painted his stairs but dedicated his puppers spot to him. That was freaking sweet and more than “I miss my buddy.”
Except for that one recently with the guy that painted his stairs but dedicated his puppers spot to him. That was freaking sweet and more than “I miss my buddy.”
It was a really good work too, it looks professional. I don’t know how they did it
I’d guess he masked off the area with brown paper and tape carefully. Then painted it as normal.
I would’ve covered it in a coat of polyurethane to preserve it. Then added the bronze plate.
Sounds like someone needs to start a c/CatsAliveAndWell.
My experience exactly, and I never see dead pet posts. I hated it.
I think it’s more cathartic to post pictures of my departed pets in the present tense. I get to share my little beauties when I’m feeling sentimental, others get a dose of cuteness, and nobody has to think about how short of a time they’re with us.
I misinterpreted your comment at first and thought you post pictures of dead cats
Yikes. I could have phrased that better.
Your cats are gorgeous. The fluffy-faced one you posted first is my fave and the orange-white one looks like a cute doofus. :)
It’s like those cute Youtube videos with adorable pets and the comments are just like “yeah he/she’s dead now RIP”
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It doesn’t personally bother me, so long as it remains in the minority of posts. Couple of reasons:
a) It often reminds me of some of the good boys I’ve lost, and of the good times we had. It’s a bit bittersweet, but it doesn’t have to be a mood kill. I acknowledge if you’ve lost a pet very recently, it’ll hit a lot harder, but this is going to happen regardless as you process your grief.
b) I’d prefer to be part of a community that’s not continually mood-checking each other. Life has ups and downs, and everyone is better off if the community can occasionally offer some consolation in the hard times. Expecting only happiness from everyone always seems like toxic positivity to me.
c) Offering a word of support can make me myself feel better. It can be a good deed for the day, and it’ll make me feel closer to the community.
d) I don’t think having a bit of a memento mori is necessarily bad. Being reminded that our time with our companions is limited can also remind us to cherish that time all the more.
I do think there’s a caveat, though. While loss is an inevitable part of animal companionship, it’s very unfair if I only share my grief. If I enjoy the community and want to keep it healthy, then I should be proactive in generally posting uplifting content before I ever consider asking the community for their sympathy.
Also, personally, if I’m going to share a memorial post, I think it’d be best if it can be a celebration of my pet’s life, and show how they had a good, and happy one.
I agree. One of my cats died some time ago and every time I see one of those memorial posts it reminds me and I get sad again. I did not subscribe to cat communities to get more sad but to improve my mood.
