What is one thing that you want to ask your significant other to do but you won’t because you are pretty confident they will say no?
My top one is for her to play with my ass. Finger and rim specifically.
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To exist.
Is that dark humor or some weird incel shit?
What, is just being candid about being single incel shit these days? It doesn’t require a sense of entitlement and a hateful bitterness with potential for violence?
I remember a time when even nice guys were only considered incel-adjacent because their bitterness wasn’t hateful or violent.
Says the guy keeping pornstar interviews bookmarked
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Next time when you have sexy times, pleasure her as long as you can. Foreplay, penetration, some more cunnilingus, petting, really go the extra mile. When you’re licking her, start also giving some slight attention to her butthole. A little in the beginning, progressively more towards the end.
No penetration, no fingering of the butthole (very gentle massaging at most, but it’s best to keep your fingers off of it completely), but lick that hole and everything around it like your life depends on it.
It’ll drive her crazy and she’ll be begging for some action.
We do anal sometimes but it’s not that common. I don’t attempt that frequently so when I do, it’s normally not turned down. But my experience there’s probably no particular reason outside of mood that she would or wouldn’t want it.
I like oral with some guys but not others - my ex had huge loads and so foul, he was the first one I’d tried that with and I honestly had no idea how anyone could swallow without puking. I didn’t know at that time that guys differed in this regard, so even watching porn where the ladies swallow made me nauseous!
But since him, I’ve had no trouble with most other guys. So if you are like my ex, there may be a reason she is squeamish.
Anal, there are only a few times I’m up for that too, it doesn’t feel great (not bad! Just not great) but that’s not the issue, it’s just that the request has to line up with what I think is going on down there, are there not a lot of times you would say no? Maybe give her a heads up that you’d like to soon, so she can feel more ready and let you know when it’s a good time for it.
If the problem is more that she isn’t very giving, I don’t know what to tell you except that it’s easy to get in that mindset when young because guys get off so easy it’s easy to think they don’t need much so why open a door that will lead to more stuff we don’t like and less of what we do, instead of just more sex overall. Especially with my ex, he could only cum a couple times a week and I ran hotter, so if we did something that was only for him I’d be frustrated. I don’t know if this is helpful just trying to give you some ideas of how she may be thinking, perhaps incorrectly, so you can counter those misconceptions.
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There were a lot of those things. And then I just asked for one, and she was into it, and she got braver and asked for things she wanted to do, and now it’s 3 months later and we have tried out a lot of new things. And are both feeling super stupid for not having been confident enough to do this years ago.
Don’t be us. You love each other, you trust each other, so just ask your SO. But ensure them that it’s perfectly okay if they don’t want to do it, don’t pressure them. If they say no, at least maybe it gives them a little courage to tell you what they would like to try.
You bring up an interesting point in that the duration of the relationship may affect the reaction to the question. Maybe earlier in the relationship you’re still exploring so the sexual expectations haven’t solidified as much. On the other hand, maybe in a longer term relationship there’s more trust. I’m not sure what the normal is or if it leans either way.
Sorry, I somehow just assumed you are talking about a long-term relationship, now I see you didn’t mention anything about that :)
So yes, what I said applies to a relationship where you had enough time to build up mutual trust, can’t comment on a fresher one.
Go see a therapist.
Mine is on here so I gotta plead the fifth on this one.
Honestly, even if you (whoever reads this) are fairly confident they’ll say no, just ask respectfully. They’re your loving, trusting partner, the very worst that can happen is that they’ll confirm your hunch and say no, then move on like nothing happened.
It really depends on what it is and your partner. Some people see a request for a threesome or opening the relationship as the end of the relationship.
I personally don’t know if I’d continue a relationship with someone who asked if we could do scat stuff or piss play, especially if it was an open relationship.
Some requests could be too close to previous trauma, like consensual non-consent. Some could lead to a loss of respect, like adult babies.
That said, there is the question of whether you’d want to be with someone who would break up with you over your kinks, so I wouldn’t say you shouldn’t ever bring it up. I just don’t think it’s realistic to expect that the worst that could happen is getting a “no”.
Yeah opening the relationship us the one thing I want to ask, but I know will kill my relationship…
You’d be surprised what they’re willing to get down on, if you’ll just ask.
