Fictional options for animated biopics, why not
My cat. Everyone would be played by cats. Untrained cats, just put them together in relevant places and roll camera. It’s art now.
I was thinking specific cats (a la Unsinkable Sam or Stationmaster Tama), but these newcomers need breakout roles too!
Nicolas Cage.
Doesn’t matter that he isn’t even close to being a match, but the movie would most certainly be entertaining.
Ryan Gosling, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Timothee Chalamet. Not as one person blended together, but them having a threesome. Directed by Denis Villeneuve. Score by Vangelis.
That’s me.
I can imagine you so well
Me of course. I mean I already got famous for being me so clearly I would be a good fit for the role.
Jack Black is the only real choice. In his messy beard phase.
I had a hard time thinking of someone even remotely matching my elaborate style and high class. This is exactly it. Jack Black, messy beard, clothing that looks like he dressed in a small, completely dark closet.
I’m a forgettable nobody, so, Michael Cera.
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I’m so sorry
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Bojack.
Horseman, obviously.
get in line
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
No similarity, but it’d be funny watching the director try to fit The Rock into a computer programming role; and also because - since it’s a movie - people would think that’s how I look.
Question: on what occasion in your life did you hold a helicopter with bare hands? And why?
It’s my biography, not Dwayne’s! The heaviest thing he’ll hold in the biography will be the absurdly large Calvin & Hobbes Compendium.
Probably Keanu Reaves. We went to the same schools growing up and have similar ethnicity. I don’t actually remember him, though I must’ve passed him in the hall? He’s a few years my senior.
Seth Rogan but he’s a craft beer snob instead of a pot head.
Dunno probably that guy in the Vicar of Dibley that went “Mo no no no yes”
Bad news about that, I’m afraid
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I’m thinking the actress for MJ in Spiderman
do you mean Kirsten Dunst?
MJ is Michelle Jones-Watson played by Zendaya in the latest Spiderman films. Kirsten Dunst played Mary-Jane Watson in the Spiderman films from two decades ago, the ones with the first trailer at the World Trade Center’s Twin Towers.
They said “Spiderman” not “Spiderman: Homecoming” nor “Spiderman: Far From Home” nor “Spiderman: No Way Home”.
And in the original Spiderman, Mary-Jane was often called MJ by Spiderman.
Pedantic enough for you?
I describe myself as looking like what happens when you skip character creation. I’m super average-looking and would be tough to pick from a crowd.
Matt Damon.
Similar size, shape, looks and both from the Boston area.
