For me, a random sales guy took the cake when he introduced himself as “Chief Innovation Evangelist”.
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I was a noodle ambassador, once upon a time.
All in a day’s work for a dedicated servant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster 🍜
R’Amen!
I laughed out loud when I saw someone I know on LinkedIn convert from real estate agent to ‘prompt engineer’
That one bugs me. Should require an engineering degree.
Language creep. I imagine it gets worse as we age…
-Senior Application Engineer
Worked in printing before things were phased to computers and had to shoot/cut out negatives on a light table for the press plates. It was called “stripping”. So, I was a stripper once without taking off any clothes.
Pharmacists are drug dealers. At least I call them that. 😁
I was being recruited to design and develop a machine that sorted bull semen into male and female and I half jokingly said I’d consider it if i could have the title of Sr Semen Sorter and manager said ok. COVID stopped the project though
At first I was like “good luck finding that female semen…” Then I realized I’m just dumb.
Yeah I’m still not getting it lol
In case you seriously aren’t getting it, it would sort sperm based on whether it had an “x” or a “y” chromosome
Shit ok that’s what I thought but I misremembered some biology and told myself that’s not how it works lmao.
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Thanks for explaining it . I really didn’t get it lol .
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You can separate bull semen? I don’t want to Google this. How is this done?
No need to Google
You can separate bull semen
by just using your mouth. Hope this helps!
At least you weren’t the Head Semen Collector
A good line from a video about a cancelled game jam documentary: “Matti was hired as a Pepsi Consultant, a job title less dignified than Human Trafficker”
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Futurologist
I know that is used for someone who generally has a good enough grasp on science and technology to make rough approximations of what could happen as those fields progress, but it sounds like a fancy term for a psychic.
I’m switching my LinkedIn title to Futuronomist to avoid this kind of mixup
Don’t worry, everyone that’s supposed to get a good grasp at Tech and science gets as wrong as everyone else.
Fusion power plants are a decade away. As well as quantum computers for practical applications, and general artificial intelligence. Everything that is more than ten year gets compressed into "next decade’.
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I worked with a guy who was Happiness Officer and all my friends found it hilarious. He was pretty good at keeping the team happy though so I didn’t give him too much shit about it.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Actually i’ve had the rare privilege of working in companies that really valued their employee’s wellbeing. At least for some time. It was a combination of inexperienced founders, really convinced managers, and super enthusiastic investors who didn’t really know how to crack the market so they kind of gave us all freedom to do as we pleased. This was all pre-COVID of course but it was a blast to waste millionaire money for a few years.
I have a friend who works in GIS and had a title of “Maker of Maps”
A cartographer?
I know what GIS is, if he only does GIS and no other programming or engineering isn’t he a cartographer?
Sorry, I thought the question was what GIS was.
They were a programmer and DBA
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“Thinker” is probably the most obnoxious one I’ve heard of, from the CTO of a tech company
I feel like besides being a silly title, I feel like it would rub me the wrong way if I worked at that company with any other title.
Because of the implication.
An ideas guy with all kinds of ideas.
…most of which are complete shit.
Maybe this doesn’t count but… I once had a manager who had “Master of All He Surveys” on his business card.
We didn’t get a long too well.
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Nobody gonna bring up “fluffer”?
Chief Trainee.
Context: The hierarchy at this job I once had (and still kind of have) went like this:
First, the four departments:
Technician, Navigator, Mechanic, Processor.The structure: Trainee tech/nav/mech/proc -> tech/nav/mech/proc ->
Shift Leader tech/nav/mech/proc ->
Chief tech/nav/mech/proc ->
Party ChiefThis one guy we hired was good at what he did, and he had years of experience from a different company. He was hired with the understanding that he’d take on the chief role after some time.
However, HR stupidity dictated that a certain duration with the company was required for various levels, so he had to start as a trainee. And pay was also linked to this, and he was supposed to be paid as a chief.
So I as a shift lead at that time had him working under me as Chief Trainee so he could learn our methods and systems before he got into the role as my Chief.
I was looking for a new job recently and found a listing for Part-time Manhole Cover Inspector. Was tempted to apply, but I was not qualified.
My younger brother had a summer job in high school as a worm farmer.
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